Indie Gems: Coherence

Twilight Zone.

Em (Emily Baldoni) is on her way to a dinner party when her phone randomly cracks as she's talking on it. She blames the comet that's supposed to pass overhead tonight. She's read about strange things happening during that time in the past. While her friends laugh it off, while their phones start to break and all the lights go out except for a house a few blocks away. They find that Em may be right about this oddity. 

This movie is quite the mind fuck. It's like a puzzle that we have to watch these characters put together. At first it's amusing, then it gets down right creepy for them. Baldoni has a great presence, as do Nicholas Brendon and Hugo Armstrong who play two of her friends at the dinner party. 

The editing is really choppy, but without spoiling it, it makes sense as to why They're cutting the scenes that way once we get towards the end of the film. This is a short film, only around 70 minutes or so, but is definitely worth watching. It's not scary if you're not into horror, I know the premise could give off that impression. 

Grade: B

Memorable Quote: "Please take your glow stick so we can identify your bodies." - Mike (Nicholas Brendon)

Thursday Movie Picks: Immortals

This week's theme from Wandering Through the Shelves will live forever....Immortals. AKA that time I tried really hard to pick something other than vampire movies.

1) Mr. Nobody

Nemo is over 100 years old. This movie is about his life, and it's a very peculiar ride. No matter how weird it gets, you can't help but enjoy it. (Okay, so he's probably *not* immortal but close enough)


2) Highlander: Endgame

HEEEEEEEERRRRREEEEEE WE ARE! BORN TO BE KINGS...okay, you get it. This movie is actually really bad, but I used to watch the TV show with my dad so there's there nostalgia factor. Plus Edge, one of my favorite wrestlers was in it for a minute. 

3) The Friday the 13th series

This bastard is immortal, it doesn't matter if we've seen Jason "die" several times. Dude just keeps coming back. 

Review: The Nice Guys

BOGO detectives.

Holland March (Ryan Gosling) is a widowed PI with a drinking problem trying to raise a teenage daughter, Holly. (Angourgie Rice) Jackson Healy (Russell Crowe) is not a licensed PI and essentially beats up people for money. March is looking for a woman named Amelia (Margaret Qualley) and she paid Healy to take care of the men following her. Once these two meet, they realize there's an even bigger crime at play, and they must work together to solve it.

I'm so glad that this movie recovered from the opening. The film opens up with a kid stealing a porno from underneath his parent's bed. Not just any kid, but Ty Simpkons, the worst child actor I've ever seen. This kid ruined Iron Man 3 and Jurassic World (okay, he helped contribute to the latter) and I kind of freaked when I saw him here. Thankfully, it's his only scene and we're treated to the delight of Gosling and Crowe.

I don't think Gosling has good comedic timing, but Crowe and director Shane Black really bring out the best of him here. The story is so rich. It's not just about the laughs,  it forms a very elaborate and interesting mystery around it. It drives the film where as the humor normally would. That's not to say it isn't funny. There's some pretty hysterical moments in it.

The Nice Guys has a lot of heart. So much so that I feel bad for doubting it, even for a second.

Recommended: Yes

Grade: B+

Memorable Quote: "Your sister is such a slut!" - Holland March (Ryan Gosling)

  

Rambling TV: Thoughts on Game of Thrones and Veep

Game of Thrones

Another average episode of Game of Thrones this week, though it seems things are really going to start kicking off next week, particularly in King's Landing.

The Riverlands
The show does a cold open for the first time since season 4, and it almost looks like we're watching a completely different show. It's shot through a more vivid lens, people are happily working together building some sort of structure. Then it cuts to a man carrying a log all by himself. It's the Hound. A septon found him and nursed him back to health. He tells him the Gods have plans for him since he's still alive. Later, some assumed defectors of the Brotherhood Without Banners come and kill all the people working there, and hang the Septon. The Hound picks up an ax and walks off. 

This whole thing was a wasted opportunity. Sandor in the books is a reformed man, and I expected him to be here too. I also expected Septon Meribald to give his "Broken Man" speech from the books, but apparently the title of this episode was just a cocktease. None of that happened. Sandor going off with revenge against the Brotherhood isn't a great story, and it doesn't work for my Stoneheart hype either. The only person Sandor should want to kill his is brother Gregor.

Riverrun

The Freys are holding the most pitiful siege ever outside of the Castle until Jaime and the Lannister troops show out and literally smack some sense into them. Jaime treats with the Blackfish who said he won't give up his castle, and that he's disappointed in Jaime after seeing him face to face. I'm disappointed in Jaime too, Blackfish. They murdered all his wonderful character development.

King's Landing.
Tommen, that little bitch boy has the nerve to tell the High Sparrow Margaery hasn't come to their marriage bed since she's been back. He tells her she has a duty as a vagina to accept the royal dick to make an heir. Obviously, she doesn't give a fuck. Later, Septon Unella won't give Olenna and Margaery some privacy. Olenna throws shade at her but Marg slips her a note and tells her to return to High Garden. The note is a drawing of the Tyrell flower, so she knows Margaery is playing a game. Later, Olenna tells Cersei how stupid she is and that she ruined everything. Maybe that's what Cersei needed to hear to unleash her crazy.

The North

Sansa, Jon, and Davos are on a Northern tour to gain alliances. Tormund gives a great speech to rally the Wildilngs. When they go to Bear Island and meet it's 10 year old lady, Lyanna. Jon and Sansa are failing quite miserably to gain her support when Davos steps in and wins her over. Turns out she only has 62 men, but hey they fight with the strength of 10 each! Then House Glover throws some major Robb shade and declines, they just got their castle back from the Iron Born.  Sansa has the nerve to keep questioning Davos despite him not doing a single shady thing ever and she eventually writes a letter at the end of the episode, probably to Littlefinger for the Vale army. She's wary of Davos, but will ask help from Littlefinger. Got it. 

Volantis
The Greyjoys have sailed to a brothel in Volantis where they plan to outrun Euron and treat with Dany. Yara, who's into women now, I guess, tells Theon to essentially suck it up because he had a "few bad years." It was completely insensitive and I felt bad for him. 

Braavos.
Arya books passage on a Westerosi ship and as she's standing on a bridge having one last look at the Titan, an old woman approaches her and stabs her in the stomach. It's the Waif wearing another face. Arya falls into the water to get away and she walks down the street with her gut bleeding and no one helping her. 

Veep

Selena was on fire tonight. She was at an event trying to gain more votes when she finds out Tom is going behind her back telling people to abstain because if you remember from last season, if the House can't split the vote, it goes to the Senate and the current vice president automatically becomes the president. 

She threatens a few people, then calls out Tom and they have a massive screaming match that leads to them hate fucking. (poor Gary walked in and saw it)

Richard also keeps fucking up his video and not getting anything on tape for Jonah's campaign trail. We also saw the return of Patton Oswald this week. 

Memorable Quotes:

"Don't look around, no one's gonna help ya." 

"I feel like someone is going to play a trick on him, drop a bucket of pigs blood in his head or something."

"Feel my dick, I'm rock hard for you!"

"Sentient enema."

"This is the 50 Most Beautiful Staffers, not the 50 people mostly likely to kill themselves before trial."

I'm going to start The Path this week on Hulu. God help me with Hulu's ridiculous commercials...

Rambling TV is a weekly series where I ramble about the things I've watched on television. Click those gifs to be redirected to their makers. 

Review: Alice Through the Looking Glass

The Hatter's the matter.

Alice (Mia Wasikowska) has just spent the last three years as a sea captain traveling the world. When she returns home, the man she refused to marry in the first time threatens to take her ship in exchange for her mother's house, and give her a measly desk job. While Alice frets over this, she's drawn through the looking glass back into Underland in hopes she can cheer up The Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp) who is dying of sadness as he believes his long gone family is now alive, and no one believes him. To help the Hatter, Alice must speak with Time (Sasha Baron Cohen) himself.

I'm one of the few that actually liked 2010's Alice in Wonderland. It wasn't the greatest film out there, but I've always loved the character of Alice and that movie making a billion dollars at the global box office was awesome. It's a shame that nearly all the cards are stacked against it this time around. (Whose idea was this to open it the same weekend as X-Men?)

Alice refusing to be slighted just because she's a woman is empowering. I appreciated that part of her story. I was a bit surprised on how the rest of the movie played out though. Time isn't a villain like the previews portray. He's just kind of an asshole who Alice literally steals from even though he tried to warn her. Then we have the White Queen (Anne Hathaway) having to come to terms with the fact that she's pretty responsible for the Red Queen (Helen Bonham-Carter) being the way she is. So both heroine's learn a big lesson. The ending was sweet, and fuck you, I may have came close to tearing up a bit. 

The visual effects are stunning. While the plot itself is all over the place and not exactly true to Lewis Carroll's story, the weirdness of it all is. I especially love the little metal "Seconds" working in Time's giant clock. They click together like Transformers to form minutes and hours. We didn't need this sequel. Most reviews are already shitting over it and it's bombing at the box office, but you know what? It's not that bad. For a film that doesn't even hit the two hour mark, I enjoyed it for what it was.

Recommended: Perhaps. (How's that for a rec?)

Grade: C+

Memorable Quote: "I came straight through the walls. Poof." - Alice (Mia Wasikowska)

Indie Gems: Mustang

Forcing girls to marry, what could go wrong?

Lale, (Günes Sensoy) and her four sisters, Nur, (Doga Zeynep Doguslu) Selma, (Tugba Sunguroglu) Ece, (Elit Iscan) and Sonay (Ilayda Akdogan) decide to innocently play a game of chicken with some boys at the beach on their last day of school. However someone reports their behavior to their very conservative grandmother and uncle who attempt to keep the girls locked in their home to learn to be more "lady like" before marrying them off.

When this was nominated for the Best Foreign film Oscar it got rave reviews, but a very limited release here in the United States. I've been looking forward to it ever sense. A film like this, about five sisters with religious caretakers is going to draw a lot of comparisons to The Virgin Suicides, another great film in its own right, but this one felt more powerful.

Patriarchal societies and their problems are somewhat fascinating to me, you may have noticed my critiques (ie: bitching) about the Duggar family multiple times. Watching these girls, who are forced into arraigned marriages because they essentially sat on boys' shoulders and went to a football game is frighteningly backwards. But the film doesn't only serve as a political statement, it's beautifully shot and Günes Sensoy, whose eyes we largely see everything through is magnificent. She's so free spirited and feisty it just makes you want to break these girls out yourself.

Grade: A

Memorable Quote: "Dirty slippers are all the rage in Istanbul." - Yasin (Burak Yigit)

Thursday Movie Picks: Wedding Movies

How fitting that Wandering Through The Shelves has us start the month of June with movies about weddings. June brides are a thing, right? At least that's what people kept telling me when I got married in June. I just picked it because it was warm. To be honest, I don't like many wedding movies, so this was kind of tough, but here's a few I can tolerate.

1) Wedding Crashers

This is one of my favorite comedies until the last 20 minutes or so when it falls flat on its face. But it's so hilarious and quotable before all of that, I can forgive it. Lock it up.

2) Rachel Getting Married

I used this one for a pick last year but it's easily my favorite movie involving a wedding. The acting is fantastic. I

3) Corpse Bride

Truth be told, I wasn't crazy about Corpse Bride, but like I said. Slim pickings in the wedding movie world for me. I'd watch this over a "classic" like My Best Friend's Wedding or Runaway Bride any day. 

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