Thursday Movie Picks: Origin Movies

This week's theme from Wandering Through The Shelves wants us to go back to the beginning. I wanted to alter this post to go along with Girls Week but I kind of screwed myself over by already using Wonder Woman, Alien, and Star Wars. Aside from the Hunger Games I couldn't think of any other female led origin movies I really loved. So in rebellion, I'm going to vent in a completely mature and appropriate fashion...by talking some shit on my blog. So here are three origin movies that completely failed. 

1) Halloween (2007)

You know who should never be allowed to write a screenplay? Rob Zombie. As a horror director, I have no problem with him. He has a eye for gore, but did we really need Michael Myer's trailer trash origin story? No. We didn't. The only good thing to come out of this was Scout Taylor Compton. She's great.

2) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

This one is so bad it's offensive. I have to admit I was somewhat curious about Leatherface's origins but this film quickly made me realize I'm better off without them. I should've walked out of this movie. The only thing it wanted to do is "shock." The gore needs to shock, the rape needs to shock, and fuck logic. Did you know babies can crawl out of their mothers during childbirth? Baby Leatherface practically did that. 

3) Green Lantern

None of you knew me back then, but I was thirsty for this movie. The Green Lantern is legitimately a cool super hero and this was absolute D level trash. It's also proof that Ryan Reynolds clearly has the best agent in Hollywood. This guy's career should've been destroyed by this point and somehow he got lucky and was given Deadpool. It's unbelievable. 

30 comments:

  1. Interesting way to go. From the sounds of it I can happily say I've never seen any of these though honestly the only one I'd even consider is Green Lantern.

    I like Ryan Reynolds but I have to agree with you, outside of The Proposal has he ever had a genuine hit? And a great deal of the success of that was due to Sandra Bullock and Betty White's good notices. Yet he continues to get work in films with a decent budget.

    I went the more traditional route of origins that lead to successful series or in modern parlance franchises.

    The Bourne Identity (2002)-A young man (Matt Damon) is found floating in the ocean by fisherman, bullet riddled and with no memory of who he is or how he came to be in his situation. As he recovers he discovers he knows many languages, is versed in complex defensive skills and for some reason has a computer chip implanted in his hip. Sensing danger he assumes the identity Jason Bourne, the name on his passport and sets off to discover the facts of his life. He is actually a pursued agent with the bulk of the film following efforts to eliminate him during which he uses his skills to defend himself helped by a young woman (Franka Potente) he enlists along the way. Kinetic, exciting opener to the series followed by several excellent (and a few not so hot) sequels.

    Dirty Harry (1971)-With San Francisco in the grip of a maniac known as Scorpio police inspector “Dirty” Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood) is put on the case since others have been ineffective. Harry, untroubled by things like procedure and rules, opens a can of whoop-ass on a variety of lowlifes and criminals in his pursuit of the lunatic. Responsible for the catch phrase "You've got to ask yourself a question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?" this massively successful film lead to four sequels.

    A Family Affair (1937)-First film of the enormously successful Andy Hardy series follows the everyday adventures of small town California Judge Hardy (Lionel Barrymore in the first/Lewis Stone in the series), his wife (Spring Byington in the original/Fay Holden series), two children Marion (always Cecilia Parker) and Andy (Mickey Rooney) and their live in Aunt Millie (Sara Haden). This time out the judge is up for reelection but crooked politicians and a hack at the local paper try to throw the vote. Meanwhile oldest daughter Joan (who more or less vanished later on) returns home because of troubles in her marriage but after Andy jumps into action and has a man to man talk with his dad all turns out A-Okay! Sprightly piece of Americana was so successful (earning over 2 ½ million on a budget of less than 200 thousand) it begat a series of 15 follow-ups that proved such a money mill MGM used them to introduce their most promising up and comers including Lana Turner, Kathryn Grayson, Esther Williams and Judy Garland who became a semi-regular as next door neighbor Betsy Booth who pined for Andy though he was going steady with the short tempered Polly Benedict (Ann Rutherford). These helped turn Rooney into a top 10 box office attraction for many years including twice at number one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love The Bourne Identity! Westerns aren't my thing but my husband loves them.

      Delete
    2. First I forgot to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving!

      Dirty Harry isn't a Western though with Clint Eastwood as the star I can see the confusion. He's a modern day San Francisco cop. Lots of car chases and gunplay and Clint kicking ass.

      Delete
    3. Thank you! Happy Thanksgiving to you as well if you're in the States! Dirty Harry feels western-ish to me though. Probably because of the guns and like you said, Eastwood. They all run together for me. lol

      Delete
  2. I really wanted to see Green Lantern but I missed it. Having read several reviews I'm glad I didn't watch it.

    I went along with Girl Week but damn, Star Wars and Hunger Games didn't even cross my mind!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The ones you chose didn't come to my mind either lol

      Delete
  3. I am happy to say I have not seen the first 2. I might give Green Lantern a try but only when there is nothing else on tv. You are right about his career and I think part of the reason he is still popular is his face.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've never seen GL, because why would I lol but I remember the trailer for this was fantastic

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yeah, with the exception of Halloween which I haven't seen. The rest, yeah. They sucked.

    ReplyDelete
  6. All these picks are terrifying to me, including Green Lantern because of how badly it was recieved. Hey but at least Blake met Ryan right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I suppose a happy marriage and beautiful kids is some consolation after the shit they left us lol

      Delete
    2. Uh, wait a minute. Didn't Blake Lively stole Ryan from Scar-Jo 3:16?

      Delete
    3. I thought they were already split up?

      Delete
    4. No, Reynolds was married to Scarlett during production of Green Lantern.

      Delete
    5. I knew they were legally married during it, but I thought they were separated.

      Delete
  7. I wish that Green Lantern movie wasn't made. It was terrible.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Okay, I'm the one guy who actually liked Zombie's Halloween. I know, I know. Haven't seen the Leatherface origin, but I did see Green Lantern. Yup, that sucked.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I liked Scout Taylor-Compton in it. She was very good, and the actress is a huge fan of horror. That's about it.

      Delete
  9. Haha well noted on Reynolds, Brittani.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Okay, I had a great shock/laugh at this because I failed to read the final sentence of your intro before looking at the choices. I was like, "Wait, what?" Hilarious. And your notes on Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning made me laugh out loud.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's why it's in bold, in case anyone misses it lol.

      I hate that movie so much. It was on TV again the other day too, my eyes burned just looking at it on the guide.

      Delete
  11. Don't know anything about the Green Lantern and the clips of that movie, did not get me interested.

    ReplyDelete

If you're reading this sentence you should probably leave a comment.