Rambling TV: Thoughts on Game of Thrones and Veep

I had a busy week, so not much TV here. I'm hoping to finish off Daredevil tonight, but I only got a chance to watch Game of Thrones and Veep this week. That's okay, they're the best shows on television right now.

Game of Thrones

Beyond the Wall
Bran and Meera are still being chased by wights. Poor Meera finally drops from exhaustion pulling that sled. Bran is still getting several visions "uploaded" into his brain. Lots of wild fire, visions of Jaime killing the Mad King, the deaths of his family members, and white walkers. He wakes up, and he and Meera hold each other before the Wights descend on them (aww) then all of a sudden Ghost Rider a hooded figure shows up and kills the remaining wights. He reveals himself later to be Benjen Stark, Bran's uncle who was lost beyond the wall in S1. He was stabbed by a White Walker's sword, and the Children of the Forest saved him by stabbing him in the heart with dragon glass, the same way the White Walkers were created in the first place.

Horn Hill
Sam and Gilly rival Jesse Pinkman, Walter and Skylar White in the most awkward dinner conversation ever. Sam's dad is the fucking worst. He spends a good majorty of one of the books telling Brienne she "needs a good raping" so I was happy to see his dickishness (not a word) translated to screen well. He berates Sam, when Gilly stands up for him and tells them Sam killed a White Walker and that he's a better warrior than Dickon or Randyll will ever be, Randyll rages over the fact that Sam brought a Wildling to his table. The best part, Sam, Gilly, and Little Sam run off in the middle of the night and steal Randyll's Valyrian steal sword, Heartsbane. I cheered. Go Sam.

Arya watches the play of Joffrey's wedding and goes back stage to poison the actress' whisky. She accidentally runs into her and they have a nice discussion about how she plays Cersei. Arya has a change of heart last minute and slaps the poisoned drink away from her and tells her to be careful of the other actress that wants her dead. The Waif sees this and reports back to Jaqen, who says the Waif can kill her, but to make sure she doesn't suffer. Arya goes and retrieves Needle from her hiding spot.

King's Landing
Margaery and Tommen talk about how she only pretended to be nice and really needs to atone for her sins. They have her out on the steps looking like she's about to do a walk of shame when Jaime and Tyrell soldiers show up. Of course, this is all a ruse, The High Sparrow wasn't going to make her walk and says she atoned by converting Tommen to the Faith. Tommen then promptly fires Jaime from the Kingsguard and sends him off to the Riverlands to try to regain control of Riverrun from the Blackfish.

Later, Jaime bitches to Cersei and they kiss. I'm too annoyed to even talk about this story, I HATE what the show has done with Jaime. He's no longer Cersei's puppet in the books and I have no idea why they insist on throwing away all the development he had in S3 for this. 

The Twins
Walder Frey bitches out his sons for losing control of Riverrun. There's Red Wedding, Tully, and Brotherhood Without Banners mentions. Lawd, give me Stoneheart.

The Dothraki Sea
Daario for some reason is super supportive of Dany and no longer a creep, she rides ahead of the Dothraki and returns mounted on Drogon to give them another pep talk. Dany's pretty good at political rallies, and the CGI of her on Drogon looked far better than it did last season.


This episode was brilliantly titled "cuntgate" and was all about Selena trying to 1) Find out who in her office called her a "cunt." (it was everyone) and 2) Trying to make a decision on who to bail out, but not before completely dragging Mike, Ben, Tom, and Kent around with it. Dan also became Jonah's campaign manager only for Bill to show back up and let Dan know just how pissed he is for being thrown under the bus earlier this season.

Gary also thought the C word was "crone" in the most amazing scene in the entire episode. 

Memorable quotes: 

"This is so much more beautiful to watch than the birth of my child."

"Oh wait I do have hard feelings. I'm consumed by it." 

"They make you look half smart you fucking goon!" 

"Have you ever been called a cunt?"

"......many times." 

"You wouldn't know the smart move if it bent you over and fucked you with a Coke bottle."

"At least when Truman made the decision to drop the bomb he wasn't fucking anyone in Hiroshima"

Indie Gems: I'm a Cyborg, But That's OK

Take off your mask.

Last week I watched a Norwegian film about characters suffering from mental illness, and while I didn't plan for this to happen, this week I watched one from South Korea. 

Young-goon (Su-jeong Lim) believes that she's a Cyborg. When she slits her wrist at work, she winds up in a mental institution. She refuses to eat, thinking that she can charge herself to get the energy she needs. She licks batteries and talks to lights. She catches the eye of Par Il-Sun (Rain) another patient that frequently steals things. She intrigues him, and he makes it his mission to get her to eat.

Director Chan-wook Park is someone I'm really coming to love. He did Stoker, Oldboy, and Thirst, all great films, and this one couldn't be more different. In fact, this might be one of the weirdest fucking movies I've ever seen. Unlike Elling, my Indie Gem from last week, this one isn't out to make a case for the mental health community. Every part of this movie is completely over the top. Even the doctors seem tongue in cheek about their jobs. It makes for a beautifully strange atmosphere.

Young-goon and Par Il-Sun blossom into a sweet couple, and while I was never sure if romance was a good idea for them, I couldn't help but root for it at times. Sometimes two souls just need each other. Pacing does become somewhat of an issue for a film like this. It felt longer than it needed to be, and it let the weirdness linger. Thankfully the upbeat and infectious soundtrack always keeps us going. 

Grade: B-

Memorable Quote: "You knew right away that you were a light?" - Young-goon (Su-jeong Lim)

Thursday Movie Picks: The Internet

This week's theme from Wandering Through the Shelves is movies where that thing we bloggers all need and love; the internet. I'm an admitted internet addict. I'm not sure I could function without it at this point. The Social Network and Disconnect are two of my favorite internet based movies, but I used them in other weeks, so I went with a two documentaries instead.

1) The Internet's Own Boy: The Story of Aaron Swartz

Aaron Swartz was a programming genius who is responsible for things like RSS and Reddit. He was also an activist that wanted all kinds of information to be readily available to anyone, and sadly, some trouble he got into lead to him taking his own life when he was 26. This is a fascinating doc, and in true Aaron fashion, the whole thing is on Youtube.

2) Me and You and Everyone We Know

There's a lot of interweaving stories in film, but one of the biggest involves two brothers in an internet chat room, with the youngest one striking up a relationship with someone on the other side of his screen, even though he's far too young to even comprehend the things he's typing.

3) Talhotblond

Another documentary, this is a hot mess of fucked up. So much so that it ended up being a Lifetime TV movie by the same name. (I can't speak to that, but the doc is fascinating) It involves an internet love triangle that leaves one party death and another in prison. 

Rambling TV: Thoughts on Game of Thrones, Agents of SHIELD and Veep + more

Game of Thrones

The Wall/Molestown

Sansa is sewing away when she gets a raven from Littlefinger to meet her in Molestown. She and Brienne head off. LF swears he didn't know about Ramsay, we know that's bullshit. She details the abuses he inflicted on her and told LF "If you didn't know, you're an idiot and if you did know, you're my enemy." I liked that line. But of course, LF has to get in one last manipulation by pointing out he has the Vale army standing by, Riverrun has been retaking by the Blackfish, and that Jon is only her half brother and she needs people fighting for her. She should've had Brienne kill her.

Later, as Jon, Davos, and the rest of them are planning their strategy, Sansa tries to school Davos about the North when she really should've listened to him. She reminded me of Daenerys there in a way, thinking she knows more than she really did. The whole scene rubbed me the wrong way. I loved Sansa in the last episode. I like her in general but I hate when she's snobby and this felt snobby. Then she lied to Jon about how she know Blackfish has control of Riverrun and I do not understand the logic behind that at all.

She did win me over a bit when she sewed Jon Stark armor, even though I'm not so sure what the motivations are. 

Vaes Dothrak

In a very emotional scene Jorah shows Dany his greyscale and tells her he loves her, but he has to leave her so it doesn't spread it. She commands him to find a cure and return to her. It was so lovely and Emilia was actually very good here. Iain is always phenomenal. 

The boring Iron Born have their Kingsmoot to determine their new inept leader. Yara, who is probably the best candidate makes her case. The newly cleaned up Theon backs her, then their uncle Euron shows up. You know, the one that threw Balon off a bridge. He admits to this, says he's going to build a huge fleet, then marry Dany after "showing her his big cock." Kinslaying be damned, they pick him and Theon and Yara and some men loyal to then escape with their ships. Now Euron has to build new ones. 

Arya is STILL getting beat up by the Waif, though she's taking it like a champ. Jaqen sends her off to kill an actress in a play. The play happens to be of Ned Stark's beheading and poor Arya has to watch while everyone else laughs. When she questions the motives of this actress being killed, Jaqen tells her not to ask any questions. Yeah, this isn't going to work out for her.

Tyrion and Varys meet Kinvara, a priestess of R'hollor like Melisandre who is going to spread the good word of Daenerys after thoroughly creeping Varys the fuck out.

Beyond the Wall

Bran and Bloodraven are having a vision of the first While Walker being created. The Children of the Forest are responsible for creating them. The men were cutting down their trees and wouldn't leave them alone. It's tragic to think the thing they made to protect them from man became both of their enemies. Later, Bran goes back into a vision alone and sees the army of Wights, but the Night's King seems him in his vision and touches him. When he wakes up, Bloodraven tells him he's marked and needs to leave. He then pulls him into another vision as Meera scrambles to pack everything. Then the Wights and White Walkers show up. The CotF try to fight them off, Hodor is freaking out and Meera is trying to shake Bran out of his vision so that he can get Hodor to help. He hears her and sees young Hodor in his vision, so he wargs into them. The White Walkers enter the cave. Meera manages to kill one and she, Hodor, and Bran on the sled run off. Summer stays behind to fight the Wights and is killed. Dog whimpering, cue the tears for me. Then the Night King kills Bloodraven in the tree. Leaf sacrifices herself so that Meera and Hodor can move futher.

Then we find out the meaning of Hodor. There's a door at the back of the cave, He gets it open but the Wights are approaching. Meera yells at him to "hold the door" shut as she runs pulling Bran's sled. Bran looks at young Hodor in his vision who begins to have a seizure while screaming "hold the door" over and over, eventually all running together and coming "Hodor." Adult Hodor is then ripped apart by Wights

So Bran is responsible for Hodor being the way he is. It's devastating. Hodor knew his entire life he was going to die at this moment for the boy he grew to protect. He was normal before. This has been the hardest ending since the Red Wedding. To lose Hodor, Summer, and Bloodraven like that, plus Leaf and all the other CotF was too much. And to think how Bran is going to feel when he wakes up, he and Meera are alone, and he's lost his pet and Hodor who he's known his entire life. That's rough.


Thankfully Veep was pretty funny this week, I needed a few laughs after I got done crying over Game of Thrones. Dan became Tom's version of Gary which was hysterical. I did feel a bit bad for Dan after they made fun of him for his panic attack though. Selena also got some cosmetic surgery under her eyes and spent the entire weekend holed up in the Oval office with two gigantic shiners. 

My favorite quote:

"You look like a southern housewife who just burned dinner."

Agents of SHIELD

The two hour finale saw Hive and Lincoln dying in that rocket towards the end, Lincoln taking Daisy's place unfortunately. I'm just happy because Fitz was wearing that stupid jacket for half the episode and I was worried it was him.

SHIELD was picked up for a 4th season, probably because they're close to syndication, and I'm honestly not looking forward to more of the Daisy show. The ending jumped ahead 6 months, Daisy is now "Quake" in the papers and is robbing banks in some Robin Hood act to steal from the rich and give to the poor. Coulson is no longer the director and is trying to catch her. So more Daisy worshipping next season. Yay.

Here's the problem with this scenario. In order to be a good show, AoS needs to avoid situations where the viewers can ask "Why don't they call the Avengers?" Shows like Daredevil and Jessica Jones handle this so well. They make mentions of the "big guys" but they handle things small time. Someone like Daisy taking down buildings and robbing banks is begging for the Avengers to intervene and it's not realistic that they don't. Then you have Chloe Bennett, the actress that plays Daisy bitching about the movies not paying attention to their show. Sorry Chloe, I know she's probably pissed she didn't get made an instant movie star after they cancelled Inhumans, but she can't barely hold her own in a TV show. She wouldn't be able to carry an entire movie. AoS is better when they focus on the actual agents doing spy stuff. Not the Inhumans. I hate how this show has some great characters and interesting things to say and lets it get muddled by their boner over the Inhumans.


I watched 208-210 of the superior Marvel show. The choreography in this is so amazing. Especially compared to Jessica Jones. I love how Fisk came back to manipulate the Punisher and those fight scenes in the prison were amazing.

I still feel bad for Foggy, Matt is being such a dick. But I love Claire showing back up. She and Matt belong together, I need them to be a couple, please.

I love how Karen, with no creditionals gets to essentially be a lawyer and question Frank, now she gets to be a journalist. If they would've mentioned her that she was originally a journalism student at the beginning of the series, I'd buy her getting a job at the paper. But some random with a good lead walks in and is given a job and an office? What? Karen's okay, I don't hate her character but her job situation is just weird at this point.

Rambling TV is a weekly series where I ramble semi-coherently about the things I've watched on television. This week was brought to you by my tears because of GoT. Click those gifs to be redirected to their makers. 

2016 Blind Spot Series: Funny Face

What I knew going in: The premise.

Admittedly, I haven't seen a lot of Audrey Hepburn's movies and this may seem like a weird place to start, but Funny Face is one that a good friend of mine frequently raves about. I had to see it for her.

Jo (Audrey Hepburn) works at a book store that is spontaneously ransacked during a modeling photoshoot by an ambitious editor, Maggie Prescott (Kay Thompson) and a photographer, Dick Avery. (Fre Astaire) When Dick stays behind to help Jo clean up, he's intrigued with her. Then when sees her in the background of one of his photos, both he and Maggie are taken in by her appearance and convince her to join them on a trip to Paris for a modeling show. Jo only accepts to see the city, but soon realizes there's a lot more to modeling than she thought.

For a musical, the numbers in this film strangely fell flat. What's actually the most memorable part was the dancing. Hepburn has this lovely ballerina body and she looked so graceful, particularly in the scenes where she dances in a wedding dress. The cinematography and costumes are stunning and make up for the lackluster music numbers. I like Hepburn and Astaire, but I didn't think they had any chemistry as leads. It's Kay Thompson that absolutely stole the show for me. 

It's a gorgeous film with a decent story, but as a musical I felt it could've been so much better. The songs shouldn't be the weakest link, but they were here. 

Recommended: Yes

Grade: B-

Memorable Quote: "This must be the place." - Dick Avery (Fred Astaire)

Indie Gems: Elling

Why have an apartment if you just want to leave it?

Elling (Per Christian Ellefsen) is 40 years old and spent his entire life never leaving his mother's side. When she dies, he's institutionalized. There he meets his new room mate, Kjell Bjarne (Sven Nordin) another man in his 40's that was extremely sheltered, though much more outgoing than Elling is. After two years they are off to live in a government funded apartment and must learn how to function on their own.

For a movie about the mentally ill, I was surprised at how few clinical terms are actually used in this film. It's quite different from the type of film we'd see in the United States. No one is on medication, and the only disorder mentioned is anxiety, and only twice. No other diagnosis is given. Seems Norway treats mental illness far different than we do here, and that was a nice thing to see.

Ellefsen and Nordin have amazing chemistry. Both Elling and Kjell Bjarne are very different individuals who use each other as their crutch and it's fun to watch them slowly but surely come out of their shells, Kjell Bjarne with getting a girlfriend, and Elling learning he likes poetry. 

I kept expecting tragedy to strike, but it never did. The film remains fun and upbeat throughout and feels like a breath of fresh air.

Grade: A

Memorable Quote: "Did I just make a friend without help from the Norwegian government?" - Elling (Per Christian Ellefen)  

Thursday Movie Picks: Aliens

This week's theme from Wandering Through The Shelves is Aliens. I gave myself a small rule, that I couldn't chose any from a theme last year, Alien Invasions of Earth. Here are a few of my favorites.

1) Alien

I'll start with the obvious, even though I know I should try a little harder to think of something more original. But come one, this movie is great. 

2) E.T: The Extra-Terrestrial

I can't not go with this. E.T holds a special place in a lot of people's hearts. It's another typical pick, but it would feel wrong to leave it out.

3) Space Jam

I fucking love this movie. I don't care how ridiculous it is. How can you not love little aliens possessing some of our favorite NBA players?

Rambling TV: Game of Thrones, Veep, Agents of SHIELD + more

Game of Ugly Crying, fickle shows, and maximum Selena shade throwing. Let's get to it.

Agents of SHIELD

Since Civil War didn't get the registration story they decided to dump it on Agents of SHIELD with registering the Inhumans. This episode was dreadfully boring and yet again contained way too much splooging over Daisy. I get it, Daisy is the ultra perfect Mary Sue, everyone must worship her. Too bad Coulson, May, Fitz, Simmons, and Mack are all more interesting. (And since Bobbi and Hunter's spin off didn't get picked up, can we bring them back?)

Lash died saving Daisy, and that was sad. I liked Andrew/Lash and it sucks to lose a good character to service a bad one.

Next week is the season finale. I thought it was this week, but nope. More suffering. This show is getting fickle again, it can't afford to do that.

Game of Thrones

This episode was near perfect. They're on fire this season, it's already so much better than S5. This episode was particularly strong for the women.

Castle Black - Jon and Sansa reunite right away! I ugly cried when they hugged. It was slightly embarrassing. I love how they addressed Jon and Sansa's relationship as children, it flowed so naturally and I loved Sansa taking charge and telling Jon they need to take Winterfell. The letter Ramsay sent was perfectly worded and gave Jon, the Wildlings, and Sansa all the incentive they needed to attack. 

Speaking of Wildlings, that eye fucking by Tormund to Brienne was hilarious. 

I also liked how Ed pointed out that it was kind of bullshit of Jon to leave because of the White Walkers. I think Jon is right to leave, but Edd made a good point too.

Brienne confronted Davos and Melisandre about killing Stannis. I expected to hate this scene but I actually like how it played. When Brienne said "I don't forgive or forget" all I could think about is Lady Stoneheart. The hype is strong with this one.

Winterfell - Before Ramsay sent that letter, Osha attempted to seduce him and kill him but he stabs her in the neck first. I was sad to see her go so early, but I like that she threw a good insult at Ramsay before she died. "I've seen worse."

The Eyrie - Sweetrobin hit puberty and Littlefinger is still bullshitting Royce. Why do people believe this asshole again?

Pyke - Theon and Yara reunite. She calls him a "spoiled little cunt" at one point, and he says he wants to help her rule the Iron Islands

King's Landing - The High Sparrow has a long talk with Margaery and lets her see Loras, who has turned into a giant fucking pansy during his imprisonment. At least Margaery seems to be forming a plan. Tommen tells Cersei about the High Sparrow's conversation and she and Jaime, who still needs to leave her side by the way convince Kevan and Olenna that they need to work together to fight the Faith. KL has been all build this season, I really hope the pay off is worth it.

Meereen - Tyrion invites the Slavers that are funding the Sons of the Harpy to Meereen, gives them women, and tells them they need to end slavery in 7 years. He seems to be grossly underestimating how these slavers will act and Missandei and Grey Worm let him know it. He was a slave for a minute, they were slaves all their lives.

Vaes Dothrak - Jorah and Daario infiltrate the Dothraki, Daario finds out about Jorah's grey scale, and they run into Dany who tells them she needs their help. Then when she goes into a hut to meet with the Khals, she tells them they're not fit to lead the Dothraki, but she is. They tell her they'll all take turns raping her and like the HBIC she is, she knocks over all their lamps and burns the place down. Jorah and Daario blocked the doors. She emerges from the flames unburnt again, and the Dothraki bow. 


This episode was kind of serious, it had to do with Selena's mother dying, and she had to make the decision to turn off her ventilator. There was a lot of parallels to Selena's relationship with her mother and her relationship with her own daughter Catherine, but of course she doesn't realize it. 

Great quotes:

"He's fisting the American economy right now."

"Sounds like you just shoplifted a bunch of  vibrators."

"I need a quiet place to think that doesn't have Mike's stupid face in it." 


Random TV Thoughts:

SNL - Drake hosted and I thought the episode was hilarious. It wasn't as strong as some of the sketches from his first outing, but he's a fascinating dude.

Pan - So I watched this on HBO, my husband and son enjoyed it, I, well..less so. You know what the weirdest thing about this movie was? Not the fact that the pirates are singing Nirvana, or that when the Natives die, they turn into big clouds of colorful smoke, nor the fact that I couldn't really tell what they were fighting about at the end, it's that over the top reaction Tiger Lily had every time Hook smiled or touched her. What the fuck was that?

The Family - This show recently got cancelled, but I always meant to start it. The premise sounded interesting. Holy shit is this show frustrating, it's like they have to end every single episode with a cliffhanger and a twist. Even going online to read about this show, because I've gotten to the point where I just want spoilers and don't want to sit through it anymore is a jumbled mess. 

Agent Carter - This show got cancelled, and I just want to take this opportunity to tell all of you that didn't watch it and contributed to it's low ratings that you suck and should be ashamed of yourselves. This show was great. Hayley Atwell got a consolation price by getting a pilot of yet another legal drama. Only Emily Kinney, aka Beth, the worst character and actress ever on The Walking Dead is in it so it's probably going to be shit. I'm bitter. I loved Agent Carter. 

Rambling TV is a weekly series where I ramble semi-coherently about the things I've watched on television. This week is brought to you by too many pain killers because I have a major headache. Click those gifs to be redirected to their makers.

Indie Gems: Alex of Venice

Now what?

Alex (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) is a workaholic attorney whose husband, George (Chris Messina, who also directed this) tells her he can no longer be her "housewife" and needs time apart. He did everything around the house and for their young song. Now Alex tries to manage her fast pace job, her son's school work, her ailing father and her free spirited sister who shows up unexpectedly.

I complained a lot last summer about how some films tend to portray working women, mainly the stereotypical "don't need no man" trope that fell upon Bryce Dallas Howard in Jurassic World. Alex could've been a version of that character too, but Mary Elizabeth Winstead elevates her above that. I think she played a woman on the brink of a divorce very well. She's not an absentee mom, she's just used to having help at home whereas she barely accepts help at her job. 

Alex of Venice could've hit a few more tropes than just that. Everything about Lily, Alex's sister is pretty typical, but the film is so enjoyable it makes it work. And that's something that I have to commend Messina for here. This film could easily be forgettable but his cast is perfect and he makes us care. He makes us root for Alex in every possible way. 

Grade: B

Memorable Quote: "Hey, what's up? You look like you have a mushroom dick and I want to sit on it." - Lily (Katie Nehra)

Thursday Movie Picks: Spanish Films

This week's theme from Wandering Through the Shelves is another foreign edition. Films in the Spanish language. One of my all time favorite foreign films happens to be Spanish, but when I went to type up this post this week, I realized I've only seen a handful of Spanish films. I'll need to broaden my horizon. Here are a few I enjoy.

1) Pan's Labyrinth

This is one of my favorite films. It's so stylish, I loved the dark fairy tale element to it tied into the horrors of living with a crazy tyrant of a step father. 

2) The Sea Inside

I watched this for the first time during Four Ways a Best Picture and it was one of the stronger foreign contenders for me. Javier Bardem was wonderful.

3) The Orphanage

I toyed with the idea of this one or Rec, both are creepy Spanish horror films, but this one is a bit more memorable to me due to its haunting visuals. 

click the gifs to be redirected to their makers

Rambling TV: Surprise, Crows, Agents of REGRESSION + more

Game of Thrones
Castle Black
Jon is back and he's confused. I think we all would be too if we came back from the dead. He didn't see anything, he can't answer Melisandre's inquiries about the afterlife, but after a "fuck it all" pep talk from Davos he goes out to confront everyone. He's approached by Tormund first who throws in an always welcomed dick joke, then has a sweet moment with Edd that was reminiscent of his hug with Robb way back in the Pilot before he left for Castle Black. At the end of the episode, he hangs Alister (who goes out a smug asshole) two other randoms and Olly, who doesn't say a word. I was hoping Ghost would get the honors of killing Olly, but at least he's gone. The camera lingering on their hung bodies was very disturbing. 

Arya is still getting her ass beat, but after the Waif quizzes her on her entire family and motives (Catelyn mention!) Arya gets her stick up in time to defend herself and Jaquen gives her sight back after her Westeroesi Rocky training montage. 

On the boat to Oldtown
We see Sam and Gilly for the first time this season. Little Sam FINALLY AGED!! Sam tells Gilly he's taking her to Horn Hill to his family as women are not allowed in the Citadel. She argues at first, but then accepts it. When Sam said he'd feel better if she threw something at him, she says "I'd never do that to the father of my son." Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Bloodraven's Cave
This week's vision is the much anticipated Tower of Joy....which got split into two parts because D&D love to milk shit, apparently. That was annoying, but it didn't take away from how incredibly awesome this sword fight was. We see young Ned Stark and Howland Reed fight the legendary Arthur Dayne and his fellow Kingsguard, and we learn that Ned wasn't always that honorable. Dayne was about to kill him when Howland stabbed him in the back. Bran calls out to his father who turns at this voice, seemingly hearing him, Then Bloodraven pulls him out of his dream. Bran yells at him for doing this and says he doesn't want to be like him in a tree. Bloodraven says he won't be, but he most learn everything before he leaves. I thought it was very realistic to have Bran grow frustrated with his teaching. I'm looking forward to finishing this dream.

Varys intimidates the woman that got some of the Unsullied soldiers killed last season while Tyrion tries to engage Grey Worm and Missandei into a drinking game that they are clearly having no part of. They find out the Sons of the Harpy are funded by masters in Asapor, Yunaki, and Volantis. I liked seeing Varys in action but the rest was a bit dull.

Vaes Dothrak
Dany reads off her credentials to a Khaleesi that could not give less of a fuck. Instead she tells Dany that since she bailed for awhile before coming to Vaes Dothrak, the men will get to decide what happens to her. You can see Dany making a mental note to burn people.

King's Landing
For some reason Jaime is following Cersei around like a lost puppy and all it does is annoy the shit out of me. Can I have book 3 and on Jaime back, please? Olenna throws some Lannister shade at the small council meeting, and Qyburn meets Varys' "little birds." that was the highlight.

Smalljon Umber makes a memorable entrance, calling Roose Bolton a cunt (twice) throwing a pedo jibe at Karstark, then instead of kneeling to Ramsay, he offers a gift instead....Rickon Stark and Osha. When Ramsay asks how he's supposed to know that's really Rickon, the most upsetting thing in the entire episode happens...we see Shaggydog's severed head. Please let this be the last dead direwolf, I can't take this anymore. I was so sad about this I couldn't even enjoy Olly's death scene. RIP Shaggydog, bad enough you got stuck with that name. I fear for Osha and Rickon now. 

Agents of SHIELD

Because this show can never be consistent, it went from an excellent episode last week to focusing on the things that made it's first season terrible: Ward and Daisy getting all the screen time. These two cannot act and have no chemistry together. Seeing them in scene after scene was just infuriating. May actually asks the question "What is it about Daisy?" and I felt like she was speaking to me directly. What is so special about Daisy? Why is this show making her the lead when it should be Coulson? Why do the Inhumans take all the focus instead of the thing that made this show interesting in the first place? The normal people.

And don't even get me started on that incredibly cheesy Civil War mention. Tonight is the finale and I hope it's nothing like this episode.

By the way, you know there's a void left by Bobbi and Hunter when random SHIELD agents start getting speaking parts.


This week's episode didn't have as many laughs as the last two, but it was still a strong one. I felt so bad for Amy. Selena gave her no credit for anything.

Great lines:

"Can we blame another country for something we didn't do?"

"Thanks, pigfucker."

"Tell Jonah to shut the fuck up."

Random TV thoughts:

I made the mistake of watching Victor Frankenstein this weekend and I cannot believe how terrible it was. I can't remember the last time I've seen a movie that felt so poorly staged. Even the camera movements felt unnatural. They tried to incorporate slow motion shots, but apparently decided they didn't need to slow down all that much so everything just looked disjointed and weird. 
Also weird was Vacation, especially the Norman Reedus pedophile jokes. At least no horses were fucking on Silicon Valley this week. 

Rambling TV is a weekly series where I ramble semi coherently about the things I've watched on television. This week's post was brought to you by my tears because what the FUCK, Game of Thrones? Click those gifs to be redirected to their makers. 

Review: Captain America: Civil War

Don't call it Avengers 2.5

You've probably heard by now, but in case you were worried. This is not an Avengers movie. No, this is every bit a Captain America movie. His friends are just along for the ride.

Steve, (Chris Evans) Natasha, (Scarlett Johansson) Sam, (Anthony Mackie) and Wanda (Elizabeth Olsen) are on a mission in Lagos, Nigeria. When something goes horribly wrong, the United Nations throws together the Sokovia Accords, a law saying the Avengers can only act when they tell them to. Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) fresh off being guilt tripped by the mother of a man who died in Sokovia is all for it. Rhodey (Don Cheadle) and Vision (Paul Bettany) side with him too. But Cap is against it. Making matters worse, Bucky (Sebastian Stan) is being blamed for a crime he did not commit, and Steve will do anything he can to protect him. Even if that means going against the law.

My hype for this movie was insane. I love the MCU, I don't care if I hit fangirl mode about it. Not all of their movies are good, but they have way more hits than misses and Civil War may be their biggest hit of all. The Captain America movies have always been the strongest ones, and I love that they decided to do Civil War. Cap is very much at the heart of this with Bucky, Iron Man doesn't steal his thunder. I love that they had everyone talk about the accords. They actually spent a good amount of time on deciding instead of immediately splitting sides, and both sides are right, which makes everything that happens even more tragic. 

One thing Robert Downey Jr. does do is give the best acting performance of the film. Tony's always been a fairly complicated guy, but he's pushed emotionally into a place we've never seen him before. Evans is always great as Cap too. He's just a man trying to do the right thing. Newcomer Chadwick Boseman is very strong as T'Challa/Black Panther. He's perfectly stern throughout. Bucky and Sam also have wonderful banter that provides some of the best lines in the film. The two scene stealers though are easily Paul Rudd as Ant Man and Tom Holland as Spiderman. Rudd is always a gem on screen, and he's a blast during the stunning airport fight scene at the end. I've always been in the Tobey Maguire corner when it comes to Spiderman, but Holland really is the best so far. He captures the awkwardness of him perfectly, and unlike Andrew Garfield before him, he actually looks like a teenager. He actually talks so much during the airport fight that Sam has to essentially tell him to shut up.

Civil War was everything I wanted it to be and more. I wish it would've been longer, because the film flew by. If there was a downfall, it would be Sharon Carter. Her entire purpose in this film is to be Cap's love interest. They take Peggy's funeral and make it about Sharon making eyes at Cap, then everything she does after that is to service her crush on Cap. (I know their relationship is a huge comic thing, but I've always found her bland and their relationship kind of gross) But she's only in the movie for 5-10 minutes total, so I don't have to focus on that for long. It was amusing seeing several people in my audience shake their heads when they kissed though. Luckily we have the interesting blossoming romance between Vision and Wanda that gets more focus. Now they are a fascinating pair.

Recommended: Yes

Grade: Hype cannot be contained...A+

Memorable Quote: "I can't control their fear, only my own." - Wanda Maximoff (Elizabeth Olsen)

Indie Gems: Lost For Life

It's bad, but can it be fixed?

This documentary focuses on men that were handed life sentences without the possibility of parole for murders they committed while they were teenager. We hear briefly from them, where they are now, how they view their crimes. The doc's purpose is to show whether or not live without parole is an appropriate sentence for someone whose brain is still developing. We also see a few family members of victims from these type of crimes and how they feel on the subject.

I don't do nearly enough documentaries for Indie Gems. I tend to miss a lot of these myself if they're not in the Oscar buzz conversation. That's the sad truth about documentaries, they don't always get seen.

The documentary poses an interesting question, and one I can't say I agreed with prior to watching. The argument isn't whether or not they were mature enough to know the difference between right and wrong (they do) but whether or not maturing would make them okay to be in society. It's definitely a case by case thing. I think if a teenager murders someone, a few years in age doesn't make a big difference. It's like when Jim Bob Duggar tried to argue that his son wasn't a pedophile because he touched a 5 year old when he was 15 and not 16 like the definition states.

Of the subjects the documentary asks us to judge, one of them, Sean is absolutely the poster child for this argument. He made a mistake, recognized it, tried to better himself and others in prison. There are a few others that were there because of abuse they suffered as children prior to them committing crimes that should probably have them in a psychiatric hospital vs federal prison, and another pair where one shows remorse, and the other acts like a sociopath with helicopter parents. It's an interesting variety.

If there's one thing that hurts this documentary, it's the length. It's barely over and hour and so much more should've been covered from both sides of the argument. I wish they would've expanded.

Grade: B

Memorable Quote: "You owe her a tremendous debt." 

Thursday Movie Picks: Androids/Cyborgs

This week's theme from Wandering Through The Shelves is movies with androids/cyborgs. These type of films haven't always been my thing. There's quite a few big ones I haven't seen, but here are a few that I like. 

1) The Terminator Series

I couldn't not go with the most popular Cyborg in the cinematic universe. I've been meaning to rewatch these films for awhile. Maybe I will be the time this is posted. 

2) Bicentennial Man

I loved this movie when I was a kid. A robot saying something "chaps her ass" never gets old to me. I think Andrew Martin might be the sweetest android in film.

3) Ex Machina 

This counts, right? She's essentially an android? Either way, Ex Machina is one of my favorite films from last year. Ava, is so life like if it were for her appearance she'd easily pass that Turing test. 

clicking the gifs will redirect to their makers.

Review: Green Room

What's your desert island band?

A punk rock band consisting of Pat, Reece, Sam, and Tiger (Anton Yelchin, Joe Cole, Alia Shawkat, and Callum Turner) have a gig go south and not enough money to afford gas to get back home. They reluctantly take another gig at a skinhead bar. After their set is over, they're about to leave when they accidentally witness a murder. Now the skinheads aren't letting them leave. They barricade themselves in a room with Amber, (Imogen Poots) another person who witnessed the murder while the owner of the bar Darcy (Patrick Stewart) attempts to solve the problem. Things obviously get violent.

I remember when this premiered on the festival circuit, and I saw "Patrick Stewart in a punk rock neo Nazi movie" and I was completely sold just because it's so different from what I'm used to seeing him in. He's not in it a lot, but his cunning presence is felt every time he's on screen. It's Yelchin and Poots who do the bulk of the heavy lifting acting wise. As does Macon Blair, who was in director Jeremy Saulnier's other wonderful feature Blue Ruin

The atmosphere in this film is dirty and dangerous. It's very gory, but every kill happens so fast that the film doesn't spend much time dwelling on the details. We're sparred endless scenes of people bleeding out, but man is it gross in the best way possible. That pace does have its downfalls, you barely feel the weight of the deaths on the lead character because there's just no time.

My only other issue may have been singular to my theater, the projector bulb could've been going out, but this film was so dark it was kind of hard to see at times. I actually got up and moved closer to the screen about 15 minutes in. Brutal and intense, this film may not be what you were expecting, but it definitely deserves to be seen.

Recommended: Yes

Grade: A-

Memorable Quote: "It's funny, you're so much scarier in the dark." - Pat (Anton Yelchin)

Rambling TV: Congrats on the sex, FitzSimmons, Wun Wun Smash + more

Game of Thrones
This week's episode was nearly perfect. 

Poor Arya is still getting her ass kicked by the Waif, though this time Jaquen shows up and takes her back to the House of Black and White, so at least things would be looking up for Arya if she could actually see anything.

King's Landing
We open with a random peasant talking about Cersei's walk of shame and greatly exaggerating her looking at his dick when he exposed it to her. When he's off having a piss later, Robert Strong shows up and literally smashes his head against a wall. It happens so quickly and nonchalantly all I could do was laugh.

Tommen has also barred Cersei from attending Myrcella's funeral. He thinks she's responsible for Tyrstane's death too. Jaime tells him to go to her, then he has a few words with the High Sparrow. Cersei is finally drinking again, so when Tommen goes to her for help all I can do is silently cheer that crazy Cersei is coming back.

Tyrion schools Missandei and Grey Worm on a bit of dragon history and says they can't keep Viserion and Rhaegal chained up. He and Varys go down to their dungeon, and Tyrion talks to the dragons and unlatches their chains. I liked the story he told them about when he was a child and wanted a dragon. It was nearly word for word from the book, but I'm not feeling Tyrion being the dragon whisperer. There's two theories surrounding Tyrion on the ASOIAF fandom that I never liked, 1) That he'll be a dragon rider and 2) that he could be a secret Targaryen. I hate both, and this scene made it seem like the former might be a possibility.

Beyond the Wall
We finally see Bran again! He's having a vision with Bloodraven and he's back in Winterfell seeing his father sparring with his siblings when they were children. he even sees Hodor, whose name is actually Willis, and he speaks. (His name is Walder in the books, but studios think most of the general audience is dumb so we can't have two Walders on the show) Bloodraven pulls him out of this vision even though he wanted to stay longer. He asks Hodor why he doesn't talk anymore, to which of course he doesn't get an answer. Meera is also outside the cave brooding. Can't say I blame her. One of the children of the forest tells her Bran will eventually need her help.

Roose continues to throw his perfectly PA jibes at Ramsay, and we also meet the new head of House Karstark, who's on Ramsay's side. The maester comes in and says lady Walda gave birth to a son. Ramsay goes to hug Roose, and Roose replies "you'll always be my first born." Ramsay of course doesn't like that so he stabs Roose to death and tells the maester to send ravens saying Roose was poisoned by their enemies. He then leads poor lady Walda and her new born son out to his hounds' kennels where the dogs rip them apart. Thankfully that scene wasn't graphic.

The North
Brienne tells Sansa she saw Arya and Theon tells Sansa that he can't continue on to Castle Black with them as Jon will execute him, and he doesn't want to take the black because he doesn't want to be forgiven. He's going to go home to Pyke.

Remember Theon's dad, Balon, who declared himself King way back in season 2? Of course you don't. No one gives a fuck about Balon. He argues with his daughter Yara then as he's walking across the rope bridge during a storm he runs into his brother Euron, who we're seeing for the first time. I imagine for anyone that didn't read the books this was quite confusing as Balon's brothers have never been mentioned. Either way, he threatens Balon then tosses him off the bridge to his death. I actually hate the Greyjoy stories in the books. Asha (Yara on the show) and Theon are the only two I care about, but Euron's introduction here was actually really cool. This is how Dorne should've been handled. 

Castle Black
As Throne is trying to break down the door to get to Jon's body, Edd and the Wildlings show up in the nick of time. Wun Wun grabs a Nightswatchmen that shoots him with an air and splatters him against the wall. The men stand down and Edd has Throne, Olly, and the other traitors thrown in the dungeon. Later, Davos begs Mel to try to bring back Jon Snow. While Tormund, Edd, Davos and Ghost look on, Melisandre tries but seemingly fails. When everyone but Ghost leaves the room, suddenly Jon's eyes pop open and he wakes up. I'm so glad they didn't continue to delay that. I cannot wait to see what UnJon will be like next week. 

Agents of SHIELD

Let's get the meh stuff out of the way first - 

Daisy and Ward still have zero chemistry. In fact, this entire episode made me dislike Daisy even more than I already do. It's a shame this show made her more of a lead than Coulson nowadays. We're stuck with her.

Licoln is pretty whiny, but the scene where he gets stuck with a "murder vest" (it's not a suicide vest, you're not the one who is going to be pulling the trigger!) was so twisted that I felt sorry for him.

Coulson was also super pissy in this episode and his favoritism of Daisy was too much. May attempted to put him in his place, but I doubt that did anything.

Now for the greatness - 

Mack, Fitz, and Simmons are on a mission in Bucharest to find a doctor who specializes in modifying humans that they think might be able to un-possess Daisy. The three have great chemistry together, though of course when they finally meet the doctor (and Simmons stabs someone in the eye ball with a needle) Hive and Daisy show up to fuck everything up. Daisy threatens Fitz, Hive speaking via Will tries to talk to Simmons, who shoots him in the stomach.

The end of the episode Mack and Jemma are talking about the relationship she has with Fitz and she says it's very new, to which Mack replies "no it isn't." Perfect.

Fitz gets back and he and Simmons finally have sex! My fangirl meter went through the roof. Not even gonna lie, I reround that scene and watched it again.

Okay, maybe I did that more than once. 

The ending of the episode was Hive and his collection of possessed Inhumans walking down the middle of the street (in broad daylight) with this doctor who is going on about how genetically enhanced humans just don't exist like he doesn't live in a world were Captain America, Scarlet Witch and previously Quicksilver inhabited. Though that's what's hard about AoS sometimes. You have to accept the fact that an Avenger won't show up and clean up the mess these people get themselves in at times.


Selena decided to hook up with one of her donors only for that guy to immediately go endorse her opponent after they fucked. It was so awkward watching her come on to him and then I felt bad when it was over. Gary's facial expressions were perfect during all of this though. 

Amy and Dan still make a great team, though Amy's annoying sister shows up and macks on Dan at the very end of it so poor Amy doesn't get her nightcap. 

The insults in this episode were harsh! Hilarious of course, but harsh.

Notable lines:

"Pig fucker"

"Can you go tell him to fuck a bag of glass or something?"

"I've been doing this since before your mother was throwing herself down the stairs belly first."

"Paddington Bear looking fuck."

Rambling TV is a weekly series where I ramble semi-coherently about things I watched on television. This week is brought to you by wine I chilled way too early before I went to drink it. Click those gifs to be redirected to their makers.