Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mothers Day - Worst Film Mothers

While all of you may (or may not) being celebrating how wonderful your mother is today, I decided to make a list of horrible mothers from movies/tv and why they are so bad.

1) Joan Crawford (Faye Dunaway) in Mommie Dearest. Because you will not be allowed to have wire hangers. Ever.

2) Julianne Moore in The Freedomland and The Forgotten. Because she'll lose you.

3) Mother (Victoria Tennant) in Flowers in the Attic. Because she'll make you move in with your Grandparents (who have questionable morals) to say the least. Then she'll forget about you, try to poison you, oh, and by the way. You're the product of Incest.

4) Margaret White (Piper Laurie) in Carrie. Because she won't accept you for being different and she's batshit crazy. that and she stabs you.

5) Hattie (Martine Bartlett) in Sybil. Because her horrid abuse will scar you for life. Seriously, she's the worst mom on this list. I wish they would make a fantasy sequel where Sybil and her 13 personalities go back in time and kick her mother's ass.

6) Mary (Mo'Nique) in Precious: Because she's lazy, abusive, and blames YOU for being molested by your own father. Come to think of it, maybe Hattie isn't the worst on this list. Oh, that and she throws a fucking TV at you and your newborn.

7) Mother Bates (who do I credit? Anthony Perkins?) in Pyscho: Because she's still messing with Norman's head even in death.

8) Betty Draper (January Jones) in Mad Men. Because she hates everything.

9) Erica Hershey (Barbara Sayers) in Black Swan. Sure she wants you to do your best in ballet, but her obsession is pretty creepy and extremely uncomfortable. I mean, she tapes mittens on your hands while you sleep!

10) Joyce/Rachel (Penelope Ann Miller) in Kindergarten Cop. Because she married a drug dealer, can't put you in a proper witness protection program when things go bad. When she tries to save you from her ex husband who has managed to light your school on fire and steal you, she fails. But the ferret succeeds at setting you fr ee. Then she hooks up with your teacher. awkward...

2 comments:

  1. Oh God, Betty Draper is the mother from hell. She is so shallow, stupid and boring I can't blame Sally for being such a mess. Fantastic choices here!

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  2. Enjoyed this post. :-) I've never seen Sybil, but if she is worse than the mom in Precious, she must be one seriously vicious, crazy bitch.

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