Rambling TV: Game of Thrones recap + other TV thoughts
The Watchers on the Wall promised the most intense battle sequence Game of Thrones has seen since Blackwater, and it certainly delivered on that aspect. The episode itself was fantastic, it just ended far too soon, and without the grand ending I hoped for. It's a shame. As always, click those gifs to be redirected to their makers.
We start off the episode with Sam trying to pressure Jon into telling him what sex is like. Jon didn't say it was like warm apple pie. He sends Sam off, who heads to the library, because that's all Sam can think of. Maester Aemon joins him, and basically tells him that get got some V before he took his vows.
The wildlings are camped right outside of Castle Black. Ygritte reminds everyone that if anyone tries to kill Jon Snow, she will kill them first. Gilly and baby Sam sneak past them and show up at the gates. Sam yells at Pyp to "open the fucking gates" earning him the line of the night. Sam hides Gilly in a cellar to keep her safe, but not before kissing her.
Then, Mance lights his massive fire beyond the wall, and the battle begins.
So many things happened. Thorne stopped being a massive douche for once, quasi admitted to Jon that he should've sealed the gates, then went down to the courtyard to kick some ass. Slynt, when left in command atop the wall chickened out and went to hide in the cellar with Gilly. Jon, commanded his brothers in his place.
A giant shot a massive arrow from the ground, through someone at the top of the wall, who then fell and impaled himself on the other side. That was fucking awesome, oh my God.
There was a great long tracking shot that showed everyone fighting in the courtyard before Sam releases Ghost to rip some throats. Poor Pyp and Grenn fell on the battlefield, despite them both being alive in the novels.
The lead Thenn smashes Jon's face in an anvil, only for Jon to spit his blood back in his face and go all hammer time on him. Then he sees Ygritte, but she hesitates and can't kill him again. This leaves time for Ollie (the young boy who's father Ygritte killed) to put an arrow through her chest. She dies in Jon's arms and mentions they probably shouldn't have left that cave.
Everyone that was sad about not getting the chain in the Blackwater episode got a new chain that knocked several wildlings off the wall. A Mammoth stomped on some people, then got set on fire. Basically, a lot of shit went down. Now let's talk about the ending.
At this point, I wasn't paying attention to the time, so when the episode ended with Jon walking through the gates, about to treat with Mance, I was shocked. We only made it 2/3 through the battle, and the glorious ending is now going to be jammed into the finale with a bunch of other glorious things. I'm sure it will be worth it when we DO see it happening, but it should've been an episode ender, and we know this season will not end with The Wall. It just won't. It's a fucking shame.
The preview for episode 10 is a little infuriating because of this. There's a shot of Dany who we really don't need to see, her story is wrapped for season 4. There's Jaime and Cersei kissing, we don't need that either. Basically, I'm worried that the major events that are going to happen aren't going to be given the time they deserve. Plus, some awesome web sleuths pointed out, it looks like it's Brienne The Hound is about to fight, and that is just so much wtf.
Best One-liners from Veep
"You do me better than I do me." - "You do yourself a lot"
"I do not want you on top of me"
"I get nose bleeds when I'm anxious!"
"I don't have friends in DC. They all call me dicks behind my back. Like, right behind my back so I can hear them."
"I was bulimic for the entire year, and I didn't even lose any weight!"
"I'm so happy it's ME!"
"I'm the President, I can fuck anyone I want to now, right?"