Over the past few weeks, there's been a few movies that I've started watching, and actually got up and left/fell asleep/had to turn them off because they were so stupid/hit fast forward. Since I can't justly review them for these reasons, here's a quick post on the things I've bitched out on over the past month or so.
Knights of Badassdom:
This movie was fucking horrible. Ryan Kwanten and Peter Dinklage couldn't save it. The thing is, I was this movie's target demo. I like campy horror movies and I find LARP amusing, and I STILL hated it.
Kevin Hart is hilarious. Too bad this movie wasn't.
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug:
Smaug doesn't actually appear in this movie until 5 hours in. Okay, that's a little extreme, but holy fuck this movie dragged. Why do the Hobbit movies suck so much? The Lord of the Rings movies were so good? Oh, that's right, because Peter Jackson is dragging a 300 page book through 12 hours of film.
The Monuments Men:
How does a movie with this stellar of a cast end up being so....bland?
I Escaped A Cult:
Sounds interesting, right? This 40 minute documentary on Netflix was edited so badly that I had to turn it off after 20. They literally cut away after EVERY sentence the interviewers said. Plus the dramatic music was enough to make me wish a little more effort was put into this, because it's an interesting subject.