Careful, it's slippery in here.
When a solar storm causes damage to their ship and the death of their captain, the crew of the Covenant, a colonization mission to a planet galaxies away find themselves a little hesitant to go back into hypersleep to continue their mission. After picking up a transmission of someone singing a song from Earth, the new captain Oram (Billy Crudup) decides they should make a pit stop to the planet it is coming from as the terrain looks almost similar to the planet they were heading too anyways. Daniels (Katherine Waterston) objects to the plan, saying it's "too good to be true" but is ignored. On this planet, the crew and their android Walter (Michael Fassbender, with a sexy voice) encounter the xenomorphs and the shipwrecked android from Prometheus, David (Fassbender again, with a creepy voice) Things go horribly wrong.
I had a discussion with someone recently, who doesn't like horror films as much as I do about "people making bad decisions to advance the plot." It has to happen in horror films, it just does. People have to make mistakes. If your lucky, you'll get films like The Cabin in the Woods, Hush, and the first Alien film to make them look believable. The problem with Covenant is that they don't. This is the same problem Prometheus had. Sure, lean over that alien pod after a dude you just met, who is acting shady as fuck leads you there. Watch out for that blood, especially when you're holding a huge gun.
Covenant could've been so much better, but I felt like the writers forced too many events to make things end on their terms. And what this movie ends up doing to Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace from the previous film) is lame at best and offensive at worst. The final 3rd of this film is a predictable mess.
It's not a complete failure. Fassbender is great, I kind of hate myself for thinking his Walter accent was pretty hot, but the subtext between he and David was just weird. I felt like they were trying to insinuate two totally opposite ideas. Danny McBride, who I normally only like in small doses was probably my favorite part of the film. He had a lot of heart. Waterston, despite being given the galaxy's worst haircut does a good job in her Ripley-esq role. Though I can't help but think of her and get completely annoyed with what they ended up doing with her.
Recommended: If you're an Alien fan. Or a gore fan.
Memorable Quote: "What was that, sugar dick?" - Faris (Amy Seimetz)