2016 Golden Globe Winners


Oh, The Golden Globes. You are at times predictable in your love of star power over substance and other times, completely fucking out of nowhere like you were tonight. Seriously, I did a terrible job with my picks. No one was working as hard as the censor guy tonight though, I swear he had to do it once every 3rd speech. Ricky Gervais, who is normally very hit and miss for me was an absolute hit tonight as a host. He gave zero fucks. There was also some great presenting duos like Mark Wahlberg with Will Ferrell and America Ferrera with Eva Longoria. And some not so great ones like Amy Schumer with Jennifer Lawrence and Jamie Alexander with Amber Heard. Here is a list of the nominees again. (I swear I'm going to do my predictions earlier next year, my last three posts are all awards season stuff) The winners are in blue, my thoughts are in green. I went


Best TV Series - Comedy or Musical
Casual 
Mozart in the Jungle 
Orange Is the New Black 
Silicon Valley 
Transparent 
Veep 
I started off wrong tonight, (and continued with this streak)  I have no idea what Mozart in the Jungle is, and apparently it's on its 2nd season. 


Best Actress in a TV Series - Comedy
Rachel Bloom- Crazy Ex Girlfriend 
Jamie Lee Curtis- Scream Queens 
Lily Tomlin - Grace and Frankie 
Julia Louis-Dreyfus - Veep 
Gina Rodriquez - Jane the Virgin 
I should've known to go with Bloom, as the first time nominee in a new show, but I thought Gina would repeat. I should've known better. I have no idea what this show is either. Apparently it's on the CW.


Best Actor in a TV Series - Comedy
Aziz Ansari - Master of None
Gael GarcĂ­a Bernal - Mozart in the Jungle
Rob Lowe - The Grinder
Patrick Stewart - Blunt Talk
Jeffrey Tambor - Transparent
I thought Tambor had it. I love Gael though, so I'm happy for him. Even though they censored him during his speech for some reason. Seriously, why? It didn't seem like he was up there going "FUCK YEAH!" over and over.


Best TV Limited Series/Motion Picture
American Crime 
American Horror Story: Hotel 
Fargo 
Flesh and Bone 
Wolf Hall 
Fucking Wolf Hall... Actually I haven't seen it, for all I know it's pretty good. The cast certainly looks it. 



Best Actress in a Limited Series/TV Movie
Kirsten Dunst - Fargo 
Lady Gaga - American Horror Story: Hotel 
Sarah Hay - Flesh and Bone 
Felicity Huffman - American Crime 
Queen Latifah - Bessie 
So I saw this monstrosity from a mile away. But at least it provided me with two hilarious moments while Gaga's star powered ass robbed Kirsten Dunst. The first was Patrick Wilson's "bitch, please." face below, and the gif up top was Gaga bumping into Leo's seat, and THAT look on his face. Even he knew an actual actress should've won. Gaga in AHS reminds me of that one theater geek in high school that tried way too hard in every play. 



Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Limited Series or TV Movie
Uzo Aduba - Orange Is the New Black 
Joanna Frogatt - Downton Abbey 
Regina King - American Crime 
Maura Tierney - The Affair 
Judith Light - Transparent 
I don't watch the Affair, but I liked Maura when she was in Rescue Me. I wish they would've done more for her. I'm surprised Uzo didn't take this. 


Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Limited-Series or TV Movie
Alan Cumming - The Good Wife
Damien Lewis - Wolf Hall
Ben Mendelsohn - Bloodline
Tobias Menzies - Outlander
Christian Slater - Mr. Robot
I actually got this one right! I knew Mr. Robot would be a hit tonight.


Best Actor in a Limited Series/TV Movie
Idris Elba - Luther 
Oscar Isaac - Show Me a Hero 
David Oyelowo - Nightingale 
Mark Rylance - Wolf Hall 
Patrick Wilson - Fargo 
I didn't see Show Me A Hero so I was surprised that Isaac won, but no complaints here. 


Best TV Series, Drama
Empire 
Game of Thrones
Mr. Robot
Narcos
Outlander
I'm so happy for this show. You should really check it out if you haven't yet. 


Best Actor in a TV Series, Drama
Jon Hamm - Mad Men
Rami Malek - Mr. Robot
Wagner Moura - Narcos
Bob Odenkirk - Better Call Saul
Liev Schreiber - Ray Donovan
I knew this was going to be the only place Mr. Robot missed, but well done for Jon Hamm. He played such an iconic character, he deserves the Globe on his way out. 


Best Actress in a TV Series, Drama
Caitriona Balfe - Outlander
Viola Davis - How to Get Away With Murder
Eva Green - Penny Dreadful
Taraji P. Henson - Empire
Robin Wright - House of Cards
I thought this was Viola's but I'm happy for Henson. Her speech was hilarious, AND she passed out cookies. 



Best Motion Picture - Comedy or Musical
The Big Short 
Joy 
The Martian 
Spy 
Trainwreck 
Jason Statham in the above gif though. He was the best part of Spy. I'm okay with The Martian's win here. Out of the 5 nominees, it was my favorite and it WAS hilarious. In a perfect world, The Kingsman: Secret Service would be here to win, but apparently the Globes didn't find "If you save the world, we can do it in the asshole" funny.


Best Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Jennifer Lawrence - Joy 
Melissa McCarthy - Spy 
Amy Schumer - Trainwreck 
Maggie Smith - The Lady in the Van 
Lily Tomlin - Grandma 
Ugh. Lawrence, I love your work, I do, but I'm over you tonight. You are officially too much. You weren't funny with Schumer and you were a poor sport for having to *gasp* stand next to Katy Perry because she was in the right in that little twit feud with your buddy Taylor Swift. 


Best Motion Picture - Drama
Carol 
Mad Max: Fury Road 
The Revenant 
Spotlight 
Room
What does this do for Spotlight? It seemed the front runner going in. I'm fine with The Revenant winning. I think Spotlight has a broader audience but they are both A+ films for me. 


Best Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama
Cate Blanchett - Carol 
Brie Larson - Room 
Rooney Mara - Carol 
Saoirse Ronan - Brooklyn 
Alicia Vikander - The Danish Girl 
I thought Saoirse had the edge in this two woman competition, but now it seems Brie does. I'm fine either way, both women gave amazing performances in amazing films. 


Best Actor in Motion Picture - Drama
Bryan Cranston - Trumbo 
Leonardo DiCaprio - The Revenant 
Michael Fassbender - Steve Jobs 
Eddie Redmayne - The Danish Girl 
Will Smith - Concussion 
Yay Leo. Everyone stood up for him, even they know he's over due for that eventual Oscar. He gave an excellent speech too.


Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture
Jane Fonda - Youth 
Jennifer Jason Leigh - The Hateful Eight 
Helen Mirren - Trumbo 
Alicia Vikander - Ex Machina 
Kate Winslet - Steve Jobs 
This was a big surprise. I'm not sure if it changes the game in this category though. It might have just been the HFPA wanting her and Leo to have matching globes. 



Best Actor in Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Christian Bale - The Big Short 
Steve Carell - The Big Short 
Matt Damon - The Martian 
Al Pacino - Danny Collins 
Mark Ruffalo - Infinitely Polar Bear 
I'm okay with this, even though I would've loved the underrated Ruffalo winning. 


Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture
Paul Dano - Love & Mercy 
Idris Elba - Beasts of No Nation 
Michael Shannon - 99 Homes 
Sylvester Stallone - Creed 
Mark Rylance - Bridge of Spies
I'm bias, I haven't liked Stallone in a thing. Give me Dano or Shannon.


Best Animated Film
Anomalisa
The Good Dinosaur
Inside Out
The Peanuts Movie
Shaun the Sheep Movie



Best Screenplay – Motion Picture
Room
Spotlight
The Big Short
Steve Jobs
The Hateful Eight
This was another surprise, though I really shouldn't be surprised by Sorkin winning anything. 


Best Original Score – Motion Picture
Carol
The Danish Girl
The Hateful Eight
Steve Jobs
The Revenant
So Quentin Tarantino got up to accept this award, clearly drunk, and said Ennio Morricone never wins anything despite him winning 2 Globes in the past. Nice. 


Best Original Song – Motion Picture
"Love Me Like You Do"  - Fifty Shades of Grey
"One Kind of Love" - Love and Mercy
"See You Again"  - Furious 7
"Simple Song #3"  -Youth
"Writings on the Wall" - Spectre
I can't believe this shit song won. 


Best Foreign Language Film
The Brand New Testament - Belgium, France and Luxembourg
The Club - Chile
The Fencer - Estonia
Mustang - Colombia
Son of Saul - Hungary


I finish this post off with a gif of Oscar Isaac and his sexy beard. 


32 comments:

  1. Ugh, I can't believe J-Law and that song from SPECTRE won. I'm so fucking sick of J-Law and did you see what she did to that reporter? What a bitch! I really hope Brie Larson beats at the Oscars. Brie, Leo, Sly, Oscar, and Matt Damon made me happy.

    I wanted Kirsten Dunst to win to instead of Lady Caca.

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    1. Yes, I did. I can't believe some people are like "Good for her for telling him to get off his phone." Uh, NO. That was rude and English is clearly not that guy's first language.

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    2. Exactly. It doesn't surprise me she's part of this so-called clique with the likes of Taylor Swift who all claim to be feminists. I really want to see Scarlett Johansson to do a Scar-Jo stunner on that Kentucky skank.

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    3. I can't stand Taylor Swift. I used to love her when she first came out. I thought she was really sweet and she made country music kind of tolerable for me, but the last few years she's been an insufferable mean girl. I think her friendship with Lawrence is a big part of why she was so cold to Katy Perry on the red carpet. I couldn't believe how she acted during that interview.

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  2. I can't believe that shit song from SPECTRE won. Same goes with J-Law. I love her but she can't compete with Amy Schumer in comedy

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    1. She can't compete with Lily Tomlin either. Schumer really should've won that, I'm shocked that she didn't.

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  3. Just when I thought I couldn't enjoy this post more, you ended it with a gif of that gorgeous, gorgeous man!
    - Allie

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    1. I think I fell off the deep end with Isaac. When Inside Lewlyn Davis came out I was like "Why does everyone think this guy is so hot?" Then he played Poe Dameron and I'm like "Okay, I get it now."

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  4. Lol at Lady Gaga winning. I thought Gervais was very good. I found the intro to and response by Mel Gibson hilarious.

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  5. Loved Gervais but he was so underused. I've never seen final category so rushed and no closing from the host during globes before and I've been watching it for years

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    1. I know! That whole thing was about 2 minutes. It was so strange.

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  6. I'm just bitter you didn't drunk tweet me last night. Like...WTF!

    ;-)

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    1. I wasn't sure how much you could take until you blocked me. lol

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  7. Great write-up! I'm so ready for Larson and DiCpario to win Oscars. I really hope that happens.

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    1. I do too! Especially Leo, God he's overdue.

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  8. I love Gaga, but no. Kiki deserved that win.

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    1. I've never been a big Gaga fan. Some of her songs are catchy, and she has a good voice when she sings live, but she comes across as very insincere.

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  9. Who doesn't find the whole 'we can do it in the asshole' thing HILARIOUS? I mean, these people exist?

    Dude, I have never understood Lady Gaga at all, and was ultimately bummed she talked for 27 minutes and everybody else got on stage to the HURRY THE F--K UP music. Oh well...

    Great post, Brittani, even though you dogged my man Sly Stallone. He was great in Creed!

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    1. lol I've never been a Stallone fan. A friend at work randomly emails me Stallone pictures just to piss me off. I know it's just a me thing.

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  10. ugh, Oscar Isaac (be still, my heart). As you know, I am not a jennifer lawrence fan, so i am pissed at her win here. Brie FTW!!! I love her performance in Room so hard.

    I like Gaga (and she was decent in AHS), but my gawd ANYONE could have one over he.

    And I also have not ever even heard fo mozart in the jungle, but i love gael.

    and i need to watch mr. robot, apparently.

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    1. Mr. Robot is great, It's so engaging and original and they handle the subject of social anxiety so well.

      I'm pissed at Jennifer Lawrence as a whole right now. lol

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  11. I really dont know what Mozart in the Jungle is and I certinly wont be watching it because I just dont care enough to see it. And Lady Gaga over Kristen Dunst is just embarrassing

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    1. It is. I did get a kick out of the Mozart showrunner saying he had a sign up sheet for actors that play instruments.

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  12. I taped the show so I still have not seen the gaga incident (My mom called her Lady Ka Ka). Does the Martian belong in best Comedy? I like Ricky Gervais

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    1. Technically no, but it was funnier then a lot of the comedies released this year, so I'm okay with it. I don't think Joy is a comedy either.

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  13. I totally forgot about the Golden Globes this year. I was just checking IMDB and hey they have the winners up.

    Best TV Limited Series/Motion Picture - Have not seen the other series, but Wolf Hall is great. The production is beautiful, very dialogue heavy and just really well acted.

    Best Actress in a Limited Series/TV Movie - I was so surprise that Gaga won. I only saw the one episode of Hotel, still she wasn't impressive.

    Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Limited Series or TV Movie - I love the Affair. I really enjoy it's multiple perspective. Maura Tierney has a bigger role in the second season with her character's perspective being introduced and I thought she was good.

    Best Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy - I heard Joy was a pretty terrible movie so this was a surprise. Lawrence is like a Hollywood golden girl which I really don't get.

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    1. I was on the Lawrence bandwagon for a few years but she's been completely awful this past year. She's over the top and fake in her interviews. I'm over it at this point.

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  14. LOL, I like Stallone in Creed and even "Writing's on the Wall". Happy for Leo. Bring on that Oscar win!

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    1. Yaasss Leo. Nooo Writings on the Wall. lol

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  15. I'm quite late on my comment, but this is probably the only Globes ceremony where some of the winners had me physically upset. In particular, Gaga, Writings On The Wall, and especially J-Law. I used to feel Lawrence was cool, but now I'm over her.

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    1. 100% agree. I still think Lawrence is a fine actress, but I'm completely over her personality.

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No seriously, post one. I need attention.