Thursday Movie Picks: Cars

VARRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM, bitches. This week's theme from Wandering Through The Shelves is about cars. I have to say, if there's one topic I find so utterly boring, it's cars. The extent of my car knowledge is basically that I know how to change a tire. I've never been interested. I've had so many people see a vintage car and ask me "Doesn't that look amazing?" only for me to respond with "....k" So in honor of my disinterest, I've decided to choose three car movies I hate.

1) Cars

This is one of the most annoying cartoons I've ever seen. I don't understand how it's popular, Pixar didn't even try. 

2) Speed Racer

This movie can only be described as the equivalent of having a two hour seizure.

3) Gone in 60 Seconds

God, this movie. I went on a date in junior high where the boy I was with rented it. It didn't work out. 

25 comments:

  1. Okay this is funny! And as for the not understanding vintage cars thing, it's basically the same as appreciating an old dress, or old architecture hahaha.

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  2. LOL at your take on this. I admit to having a total sports car fetish. I honestly do find them kinda sexy - I don't know why.

    But I totally agree, these movies (or at least, the two that I've seen - I can't judge Speed Racer) are pretty bad.

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    1. My husband really likes sports cars too and I just don't get it. I can somewhat understand the bells and whistles inside the car, but that's about it.

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  3. Haha. I can't even drive (no licence yet...probs should fix that) but I do kinda like looking at nice cars (rather than actually reading about engineering and shit).

    I haven't seen any of your picks...which is a good thing I suppose.

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    1. Yes, it is a good thing. These are trash.

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  4. I'm so with you on every single word of this post. F--k cars and f--k Cars. And the only thing I wished was gone in 60 seconds was my ability to see, after paying good money to see that shit show.

    HOWEVER.

    Speed Racer is rad as f--k.

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    1. lol I'm glad Speed Racer has its fans. You know, the ones that didn't get seizures watching it.

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  5. Cars is an alright film while I do love Speed Racer. Gone in 60 Seconds is just... meh... except for Robert Duvall.

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    1. I forgot Robert Duvall was even in that movie. Whoops.

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  6. Well it should come as no shock with my total aversion to animation that I've never seen Cars, and you've made it even more risible.

    I was never a big fan of the cartoon Speed Racer but it's high art compared to this pile of celluloid.

    I had very low expectations for Gone in 60 Seconds when I finally watched it one day when I ran across it on TV. I decided to give it a whirl since it seemed everyone I knew had seen it, it didn't even meet my meager hopes. Nice cars though.

    I reached back for mine, big surprise!, and had stopped at three but the other day I ran across my bonus which is so utterly 80's I had to include it.

    Winning (1969)-Frank Capua’s (Paul Newman) dream is to win the Indy 500 and he is spurred on by his messy private life including a troubled marriage to Elora (Joanne Woodward) who is also involved with his main rival Luther Erding (Robert Wagner). The film inspired Newman’s lifelong love of racing and has some exciting scenes of the sport. While it doesn’t deliver on its ambitious tagline “WINNING is for men who live dangerously! WINNING is for women who love recklessly! WINNING is for young people who live for now! WINNING...is for everybody!” it’s a decent film with many of the stars of the racing circuit making appearances.

    The Great Race (1965)-At the beginning of the 1900’s The Great Leslie (an all in white clad Tony Curtis) and his arch nemesis Professor Fate (Jack Lemmon equally black covered with a handlebar moustache and top hat to boot) compete in the title race from New York to Paris with henchmen in tow, Hezekiah (Keenan Wynn) for Curtis and Max (a hilarious Peter Falk) for Lemmon. Also competing and covering the race for The Sentinel newspaper is pioneering and rambunctious reporter Maggie DuBois (Natalie Wood at her most beautiful). MANY complications occur along the way including a western town brawl and shootout and an enormous pie fight. Blake Edwards directed tribute to slapstick and old time serials is zany fun with beautiful costume & set design, a game cast and for car lovers fantastic automobiles. The score was provided by Henry Mancini and includes the Oscar nominated “The Sweetheart Tree”.

    The Big Wheel (1949)-Watch out Mickey Rooney’s on the skids in more ways than one! Billy Coy (Rooney) has something to prove, his father was a legend in the midget race car game until his death in a crackup, now Billy is trying to show his worth. The story is standard cocky hothead knocked down a few pegs until his learns the necessary life lessons junk but if you're a race fan and don't mind the obvious rear projection shots it has a certain entertainment value. Additionally parts were filmed at the Indy 500 raceway providing a glimpse of it in its infancy. Aside from Rooney there’s a good cast including Spring Byington, Thomas Mitchell and in a small part Hattie McDaniel in her last theatrical feature. This was made just as the Mick’s major star period was ending.

    80’s Flashback Bonus-Catch Me If You Can (1989)-When her small Midwest high school faces closure class president Melissa Hanson (Loryn Locklin) is persuaded by school bad boy Dylan Malone (Matt Lattanzi) to gamble on the illegal car races he runs. Everything goes well at first but then the local mob moves in so Melissa and Dylan take drastic measures to save ol’ Cathedral High! Full of 80’s music (the film’s score is composed and performed by Tangerine Dream) 80’s fashion and of course 80’s hair complete with headbands!

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    1. I actually liked the Speed Racer anime, even though if I watched it as an adult I'd probably cringe a bit. I haven't seen any of your picks. The Great Race seems popular today though.

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    2. Out of my picks that's the one I'd recommend the most strongly. It's a little long but is jaunty and fun with the whole cast playing for laughs. It's a nice rematch for Curtis and Lemmon after Some Like It Hot.

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  7. You made me laugh out loud with the seizure statement:) I read this to my hubby who said he likes Gone in 60 seconds......I agree with you.

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    1. It's true though. God, so many flashing colors. lol

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  8. OMG, Cars...and Cars 2...so terrible. Glad I'm not alone on that assessment. I also agree Speed Racer was bad, very bad. I actually kinda like Gone in 60 Seconds, but it's certainly no masterpiece.

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    1. I hated that my son was introduced to Cars elsewhere and now I have to deal with it. lol

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  9. Epic Nicholas Cage gif! Nice picks!

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  10. Aww.. 60 Seconds is not that bad... :D :D

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  11. Hahahaha love these picks - not because they're good but because they're all terrible! So glad that someone else hate Cars, its a terrible film.

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No seriously, post one. I need attention.