Because fuck you, that's why.
I know you've probably heard a great deal of people rip this film apart, but it's actually very enjoyable if you understand what you are about to watch.
Wallace (Justin Long) is a podcaster that flies to Winnipeg to meet with a kid that accidentally cut his leg off with a katana. Unfortunately, by the time he gets there, the kid has passed away and he's forced to find another strange story to talk about instead. He sees a note on a bathroom bulletin board asking offering a room to someone that can perform house hold chores and listen to adventures. The man who wrote that is Howard Howe (Michael Parks) and as soon as Wallace enters his home, he's offered spiked tea, and Howe slowly reveals his plans to turn Wallace into a walrus. Johnny Depp, Haley Joel Osment, and Genisis Rodriguez also star.
I love campy horror movies and that's exactly what this film feels like. It's outrageous, over the top and hilarious. Plus you have to appreciate how this film came about. Director Kevin Smith read a (fake) article about a man seeking someone who would dress up as a walrus and role play with him. They then theorized this entire movie during their podcast and had their Twitter followers vote #WalrusYes or #WalrusNo on whether or not that should make it into a film. That's pretty bold.
Memorable Quote: "What kind of elephant?" - Wallace (Justin Long)