Review: Kung Fu Soccer

 

Official Synopsis: Dismissed as underdogs before they even step onto the pitch, the Emei Women’s Football Team enters the prestigious Supreme Invincible Cup determined to prove everyone wrong.

Back in 2005 I went on a date with a guy who took me to see a movie called Kung Fu Hustle. He’d loved the director’s previous film, Shaolin Soccer and insisted that it was okay that I hadn’t seen that one before we dove into Hustle. I was pretty flabbergasted with that movie at the time, but I did grow to appreciate how ridiculous it was. So when I saw Shaolin Soccer was getting a spiritual successor following a woman’s soccer team, I of course wanted to check it out.

Unfortunately the majority of the goofy kung fu one would expect from a Stephen Crow film takes a back to seat to complete AI slop. According to Crow, about 50% of the film’s budget went towards generative AI for the visual effects and if I had known that before pressing play, I would’ve skipped it all together on principle. This film looks absolutely horrible. The visuals look worse than a film shot 20 years ago on a micro budget. You can’t generate everything around you with an algorithm and expect it not to look uncanny. You won’t be getting any of that amusing wire work from the previous films here.

It feels like Crow checked out completely and I feel for the actresses who are giving it their all and getting nothing in return from the directors and writers around them. I wanted so badly to love the story of the underdog team, but the script just isn’t as compelling as it could be. It’s especially disappointing when you compare it to the newest season of Ted Lasso who also did the same thing with a women’s team with more success. This made over 300M in China so clearly there’s a market for this, but that doesn’t include me. This film for me is a cautionary tale about why generative AI has no business in the arts.

Kung Fu Soccer is now available in North America just in time for Shaolin Soccer’s 25 year anniversary.

Grade: D