7 Things I want from the final season of True Blood

True Blood released their season 7 teaser trailer this week. S7 is True Blood's last. While I never thought I'd want one of my one time favorite shows to end, it is definitely the right time. The last two seasons have been lackluster at best. In honor of season 7, here's 7 things I'd love.

(as always, click those gifs to be redirected to their makers)

7) Kill off all the new characters introduced after season 5. Literally, there is not a single interesting one.

6) Get rid of Alcide. He doesn't necessarily have to die. Sookie can break up with him early on and he can leave for all I care. No character has overstayed their welcome quite like Alcide. Seriously, the only thing good about him is his torso.

5) At least be consistent with this "Vampire illness" that's going to be the main point of the season. Hep V, is they are calling it is apparently turned some vamps into savage beasts, yet it killed Nora within 24 hours last season. Explain why the sudden change.

4) Get off your Bill high horse, and for the love of God don't have him date Sookie again.

3) More Lafayette and Pam. They honestly have the best lines. 

2) Rebuild the Merlotte's friendships. Mostly that of Tara/Sookie/Sam. Rebuild Pam and Eric's tight bond as well.

1) And finally, the most important. Have Eric end up with Sookie in the finale. He and Pam NEED to return. The book fans were denied this by Charlaine Harris. How about making it up to them by having the TV show end that way.

Rambling TV: Game of Thrones recap + other TV thoughts.

Game of Thrones proved to us last night that even book readers can be surprised. Over half of Oathkeeper wasn't even in the books. As surprised as I was at first, overall, I think I'm happy with it. As some stories drift into A Feast for Crows/A Dance with Dragons territory, they are in some serious need of filler. (Sorry, GRRM..actually no, get back to writing your fucking book.) It's kind of fun to not know what's going on again. As always, click those gifs to be redirected to their makers.

Outside of Meereen, Missandei is giving Grey Worm an English lesson, but this sweet scene is interrupted by Dany and Ser Barriston, who have looks on their faces that suggest they caught them scissoring or something. (What, Grey Worm doesn't have his man parts anymore) It's time.

Grey Worm and some of his Unsullied disguise themselves as slaves and sneak through Meereen's sewers. They have a hell of an easier time than Jorah and Barriston did, they had to walk through shit up to their necks in the book. They rally the slaves, give them weapons,  and let them kill the masters. Barriston attempts to give Dany some good advice about answering justice with mercy, she says she will "answer justice with justice" and promply crucifies all the masters in place of the children. She's a bad bitch, and we get this awesome visual of the Targaryen banner hanging off Meereen's pyramid. - by the way, has anyone seen her dragons?

Bronn literally pimp slaps Jaime with his own hand during their practice fights, then gives him shit for not visiting Tyrion. He eventually does, and decides for himself that Tyrion (and Sansa) didn't kill Joffrey.

Littlefinger explains to Sansa that the poison was in her necklace, and that he had a part in killing Joffrey. She's fucking baffled because the Lannisters gave him so much. "If they don't know who you are, or what you want, they can't know what you plan to do next." - he tells her. He ends their conversation by (surprise!) hardcore perving on Sansa.

Speaking of perving, the scene cuts to Littlefinger's accomplice, Lady Ollenna telling Margaery about how she fucked her former husband the night before he was supposed to marry her sister. (I LOVED the transition to this scene by the way. Littlefinger says their friend ship "grows strong" and those are the words of House Tyrell.) She tells Margaery she needs to get Tommen on her side before Cersei brain washes him.

Cersei is with her favorite company, wine, when Jaime comes in. She bitches at him for only having one guard outside Tommen's door, then asks him why Lady Catelyn let him go. He tells her about his pact to free Sansa, and Cersei asks for Sansa's head. Jaime refuses to go along with this, so she dismisses him.

Margaery takes a page from Littlefinger's perving book and shows up in Tommen's room at night to talk about the little "secrets" they will share as man and wife. Tommen has a cat named Ser Pounce, which as a book reader made me LOL because I was afraid they'd lose the cat story line now that they aged him up. Couldn't they have done this in the daylight to make Margaery seem less like Mary Kay Letourneau?

Now for my favorite part of Oathkeeper - Jaime and Brienne! Brienne is reading from the Lord Commanders book when Jaime shows her his new swords, and gives it to her. It was reforged from Ned Stark's sword, so she will use his steel to defend his daughter. Jaime wants her to go after Sansa and keep her save. He also gifts her beautiful custom armor, and says "I hope I got your measurements right." (aw!) Brienne is choked up. She says she'll find Sansa for Lady Catelyn, and for him.

He also gifts her Pod, which she's not thrilled with, but eventually accepts because Podrick is fucking awesome. Bronn gives him Tyrion's ax from The Blackwater. There was a quick background scene of Pod bending down to help Brienne on her horse that I really wish they would've focused on, because that would've been hilarious. Jaime asks Brienne what she's going to name the sword, and she says Oathkeeper. Obviously that hits Jaime hard. (He named it in the book) As she rides away, the glances they give each other speak volumes. Jaime ultimately chose Brienne over Cersei. (She wanted Sansa dead, remember.) This is a big step for him. 

Alright, let's get to The Wall. Earlier we saw Jon Snow sparring (remarkably well for a person who took three arrows to this body) and Thorne, trying to put him in his place. He meets Locke, who must have hauled ass from the Dreadfort because he's now at The Wall, set to kill Bran and Rickon like Bolton told him to.

Janos Slynt suggests that Thorne let Jon go to Craster's in hopes that he dies. Jon makes a lovely speech and rallys a few men to go with him. Pyp doesn't stand up, that fucking pussy.

We then go to Craster's and see Karl (I had to go to HBO's wiki to find his name) drinking out of Mormont's skull. There was tons of rape going on, which was way worse than last week, btw. Seriously show, I know this is the middle ages but enough fucking rape! Gah. Plus they have Ghost in a cage, which pissed me off even more because I'm way to over protective of the direwolves on this show. They offer up another baby, and Bran and Co overhear it crying in the woods. They go to Craster's, Meera sees the rapiness going on and smartly says they should bail, but Bran's not leaving without Summer, who got caught in a trap while he warged into her. Then they are captured. They tie up Hodor..NO ONE FUCKING TIES UP HODOR!! And they creep on Meera until Jojen has a seizure and Bran finally says his name. They know they have Jon Snow's brother now.

how is this baby still alive?

Then, in something right out of a sci fi movie, we see what the Others are actually doing with these babies...bringing them to a little shrine and turning them into White Walkers themselves. What. The. Fuck. GRRM has never addressed what they do with the babies in the books (not that I remember, anyways)

Teach me how to Duggar:

NOTHING happened on 19 Kids and Counting this week. Seriously, nothing. Why am I watching this?

Best one liners from Veep:

"I'm going to find some air, then throw up in it."

"I'm balls deep in this omelet right now, so.."

"Go fuck yourself...that is the opposite of what I meant to say."

"I'm taking it harder now, Gary!"

"You're walking around here like you're C3PO with a giant, brass, shiny erection."

"I think I just had a money-gasm"

Indie Gems: Behind The Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

Passionate about your profession?

I had never heard of this film until it ended up on one of Jason's favorite horror movie lists around Halloween. It immediately sounded interesting to me, so of course I threw it in my Netflix queue. (and if I'm just now watching it after adding it around Halloween, you know how ridiculous my queue is)

Taylor (Angela Goethals) is a journalist who, along with a film crew decides to follow around a serial killer named Leslie Vernon. (Nathan Baesel) He plans on doing the typical slasher thing - getting a bunch of drunk teens in an abandoned house and knocking them off one by one. He gets advice from a retired serial killer, Eugene (Scott Wilson) and is threatened by a man who's on to him, Doc Holloran (Robert Englund) Taylor and crew are there capturing it all.

Leslie Vernon is fucking hilarious to start with, and clearly very passionate about what he does. He tells Taylor all of his secrets and can barely contain his excitement. There's plenty of little horror movie references through out  as well. The film itself isn't actually that gory, which is kind of a shame, but it doesn't take away from the rest of it. Beasel gives a great performance, and after watching Scott Wilson as Hershel on The Walking Dead for so long, it was nice to see him in this role.

I definitely agree with Jason when he calls this film a "must see." There's nothing else out there quite like it.

Grade: A

Memorable Quote: "You wouldn't believe all the cardio I have to do." - Leslie Vernon (Nathan Baesel)

Burning Question: Who the fuck runs around in a white cami with no bra? Let's be real here...I'm not just a prude, right?

DVD Review: Inside Llewyn Davis

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The Coen Brothers can be hit and miss for me at times, but this easily has to be the worst film of there's I've ever seen. It's not bad by any means, it's just plain boring. So boring in fact, that this review isn't really coherent. 

Llewyn Davis (Oscar Isaac) is a folk singer/songwriter trying to make his way through life. He's a total asshole, so I had a hard time trying to like him. Carey Mulligan is in this for awhile, usually cursing at Davis for being a total prick. Garrett Hedlund and John Goodman show up later as well as a fellow writer and musician respectively.

Literally the only thing going for this film is it's music. Isaac has a great voice, and I enjoyed hearing him sing. But the songs weren't enough. The movie felt like it dragged and the plot just wasn't that interesting. I'm glad I didn't catch this one in theaters, I think I would've been even more disappointed then.

Recommended: No

Grade: C-

Memorable Quote: "Everything you touch turns to shit." - Jean (Carey Mulligan)

Rambling TV: Game of Thrones recap + other TV thoughts.

This week's episode Breaker of Chains felt like it was going to be a Dany-centric episode. Turns out she was just in the last 7 minutes. As always, click those gifs to be directed to their makers. 

We start the episode with Ser Dontos whisking Sansa away to a ship in the night. Turns out Littlefinger and his crazy accent is aboard the ship, ready to perv on Sansa. When Ser Dontos mentions that he should get back, Littlefinger offers to pay him...and ends up having men shoot him in the face with crossbows. "Money will buy a man's silence for a time, but a bolt to the heart will buy it forever" he tells Sansa. Charming. He explains that he was behind Ser Dontos helping her, and smashes the family necklace. No mention of the poison in it, they must get to that next week.

Olenna tells Margaery that she may not have liked watching Joffrey die, but she would've liked it better than being married to him. Since they didn't consummate their marriage, she isn't queen, but she still will be.

Then we cut to the Sept where Cersei and newly aged Tommen are looking over Joffrey's dead body. Tywin appears to give Tommen advice at the worst possible time. He even starts to give him the sex talk, which was fucking hysterical. I can't imagine worse at giving said talk. Except maybe Stannis, since he seems to hate sex.

Then we get the famous sept sex scene between Cersei and Jaime. Cersei wants Jaime to kill Tyrion, but he's not convinced he murdered Joffrey. Jaime didn't get to say his good line from the book "He was my seed, not my son." I think the way the handled this scene was awful. Jaime came off as way too rapey. Sure, Cersei said no in the book, but let's be honest, it was more towards the location than the act itself. She was still trying to tempt him. Having Jaime say "I don't care" or whatever the fuck he said to her was stupid. Book Jaime was completely against violence against women. He hated having to stand guard by Aerys' door while he was raping Rhaella. He saved Brienne from rape twice. He freaked out on the kingsguard when he found out they were beating Sansa. Where's that Jaime? This scene made him look awful. 

Next we check in on The Hound and Arya, who meet a nice father and daughter who take them in, only for The Hound to rob them. Arya calls him "The worst shit in Westeros" The Hound tells her he just knows how things work. "How many Starks have to lose their heads before she figures this out?" - Harsh, but actually kind of true. Still, it sucked seeing The Hound rob those nice people.

At Castle Black, Sam frets over Gilly being there with 100 horny men. So he sends to her to the most logical place to keep her safe: The whorehouse in Moletown. Gilly is 100% done with Sam's shit right about now. What the fuck is this? This wasn't in the books.

Stannis bitches at Davos for letting Gendry go and for not rallying enough men. Davos tries to reach Stannis with logic, but to no avail. 

I loved this scene - Shireen teaching Davos to read again. Davos tells her that her father "lacks an appreciation of the finer points of bad behavior." He only appreciates dark magic and cheating on his crazy wife. While he's telling Shireen a story about Braavos he suddenly has a light bulb go off in his head about The Iron Bank of Braavos. He asks her to draft a letter for him. I wonder if Stannis is going to find out about these little lessons? That should be an interesting scene.

In what has to be the biggest cock block of the season - Tywin interrupts Oberyn and Ellaria's sexy time in the brothel to interrogate him about Joffrey's murder. He doesn't really think Oberyn, despite being a master of poison killed Joffrey. But he wants to know what he talked to Tyrion about. Oberyn says they talked about his sister. Tywin "categorically" denies any part of Elia's murder. Classy. It's true, really. In the book, Tywin only wanted the kids murdered. Elia was supposed to be left alone. That doesn't make it any better because Tywin probably didn't give a shit either way. He confesses to Oberyn that he needs Dorne. He knows Danaerys has dragons in the east, and eventually she will turn her eyes on Westeros. The Dornish survived against Aegon's dragons years ago. He asks Oberyn to be a judge at Tyrion's trial, and to also be on the small council.

Podrick visits Tyrion in the dungeon, letting him know that he can call his own witnesses at his trial. He learns that Sansa is missing, that Varys has already been called to testify against him, and that he cannot see Bronn. Podrick also tells him that he was bribed into testifying against him, but he's not going to do it. Tyrion doesn't want to risk Pod's life, so he tells him to flee. This was a really sweet scene. I love me some Podrick.

The Wildlings kill some innocent people in a friendly reminder that they are the enemy. The spare a young boy and tell him to run to Castle Black to warn them. He does, but Thorne doesn't want to go out and help. The wildlings want to draw them out, they can't have that. Soon, some rangers from Craster's Keep return and let them know that the rogue watchmen have taken over. Jon speaks up, and lets them know he told Mance Rayder that they were over 1000 men at Castle Black. (There's really only 100) If they get a hold of those men first, they'll tell them the truth.

Now onto the chain breaker. Mereen sends out a champion that pisses and taunts Dany and her Unsullied. Poor Missandei has to translate it all. Dany says she has a message for the people of Mereen, but first she needs this champion dead. Grey Worm, Ser Barriston and Ser Jorah all offer, but they're too important, so she wont risk them. New Daario says he comes from nothing and that he'll do it since Strong Belwas hasn't been cast in the show.  He kills the champion with ease, but not after he winks at Dany.

Dany delivers quite the speech, then has her Unsullied launch Barrels full of broken slave collars over Mereen's walls. This was a cool visual. 

Best one liners from Veep

"I'd rather take advice from a Ouiji board."

'My 2nd wedding was in the rain, you could see my nipples in all the pictures."

"Sue Casta is Sue Casta"

"What is this bushel of fuck talking about?"

"You are the dick that keeps on giving."


Teach me how to Duggar.

Here's what I learned from 19 Kids and Counting this week:

*Apparently TLC thinks it's viewers need courting explained to them over and over, because Michelle just explained it AGAIN.

*The Bates' accents are insane. (also wtf they named their DAUGHTER Michael?)

*The Duggar boys (at least the older ones) seem lazy and awful.

*I'm pretty sure Jim Bob would've smacked Jessa if the cameras had not been rolling.

*The Duggars almost ran over a dog with their bus about 3 times during this episode.

*Holy shit, a baby pink master bedroom? 

*If my friends/family trashed my car at my wedding, I'd choke a bitch.

Indie Gems: Kill Your Darlings

The dark part of the Beat movement.

Allen Ginsberg (Daniel Radcliffe) enrolls at Columbia University in 1944 and meets Lucian Carr,(Dane DeHaan) a fellow student with a big vision. Allen is instantly infatuated with him, and is introduced to other writers, William Burroughs, (Ben Foster) Jack Kerouac (Jack Huston) and most importantly, David Kammerer (Michael C. Hall) David and Lucian have a special relationship that seems very predatory. It results in Kammerer's death, and Ginsberg finds himself in the middle of an impossible situation.

I think out of all the movies I've seen on the Beat Gen, this is my favorite. It was a lot darker than Howl, for example, but it still had a bit of a pep in it's step. Despite not knowing a whole lot about these writers in real life (though now I'm even more intrigued after watching this) I didn't feel like it made me enjoy the film any less. The film doesn't exactly paint them in the best light, but that's appropriate.

The acting is top notch. Really, Radcliffe, DeHaan, Foster, Huston and Hall are all wonderful in their roles. Plus we get a little Elizabeth Olsen too, and that's always welcomed. Radcliffe really has blossomed as an actor. I think this is his best performance to date. Seeing Hall in this light is interesting too when you're so used to seeing him as Dexter. Although when it came to Jack Huston, I did miss the Richard Harrow voice a bit. I'm always going to.

Grade: A

Memorable Quote: "You're a phony." - Allen Ginsberg (Daniel Radcliffe)

God is in the Movies Blogathon

Andrew (Or Fisti) over at A Fistful of Films is hosting a very interesting blogathon. Here's what he has to say:

The basic idea behind this blogathon came from the recent swell of biblical inspired films.  I mean, at first we heard of Noah, and then Exodus…but then out of nowhere came Man of God and it became clear that 2014 was the year to bring back the biblical epic.  Biblical films were at one time pretty popular, but they’ve all but faded from mainstream cinema, and while faith based films come and go, unless you’re an avid fan of Kirk Cameron’s style of BEAT ME OVER THE HEAD WITH YOUR BELIEFS cinema, you probably don’t watch many of those kinds of films anymore.

So my question is this; how do you like God in your movies?

The concept is simple.  I want you to rack your brains for the film that, to you, defines how the bible (and all of its facets) should be presented in film.  Do you like your scripture presented in a grand, sweeping epic like 1956’s The Ten Commandments?  Do you like your scriptures tampered with, as in Scorsese’s polarizing The Last Temptation of Christ?  Do you want to see an artistic approach to God’s book, like with Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat?  Or, do you prefer your faith handled in a more provocative and less direct way, as in the many works by Ingmar Bergman?

·         Pick a movie (or style) 

·         Write a post explaining WHY it is your preferred dip into the Bible 

·         Link this post (and use my heavenly header) 

·         Leave your link in the comment section

When I saw his post last month, I was stumped. I've never really thought about how I liked God in my movies. Religion has always been a very private thing to me. I identify as a Christian, but I've always kept my religious beliefs somewhat to myself.  I still don't know how to answer the main question, but it did bring back an interesting memory for me, and when I told Andrew about it, he said it would count as part of his blogathon. 

I'm going to talk about the most obvious religious movie out there, The Passion of the Christ. This came out in theaters while I was still in high school and actually working at a movie theater at the time. I have never quite seen a reaction to a film much like I have to this one.

To start, it sold out like mad. We weren't prepared for it. We had all these wacky show times for church groups that went. We actually ran out of concessions except for Sprite and Snow Caps (seriously, what the fuck are people doing eating during this movie?) But the reaction to the violence in this film was something else. People literally were running out of the theaters screaming, gagging, or both. I had never seen something like this.

We got to the point where we would actually be holding the theater doors open for these people that couldn't take it anymore and had to excuse themselves, and every single person always left crying. What is it about religion that has people act like this?

POTC was gory, but it's not the goriest thing I've ever seen. I never see people running out of horror movies, or war movies. My friend and I pondered this after we watched the film. I remember saying "Well, that really happened. That's why it's so hard to watch." but when I think back on it, why was I more disturbed after watching POTC than I was after watching Schindler's List or Saving Private Ryan or Roots? Those things really happened too. Why did this seem to hit harder? It's not like I can relate to one more than the other. They're all about awful things that shouldn't have happened. Is it because I feel like I have a strong relationship with Christ? Is that why more people can't handle the gore of POTC but just scrunch up their faces when they watch something like Evil Dead?

I still don't know the answer. What do you think?

*Thanks for hosting, Andrew!!*

Blind Spot Series: Vertigo

What I knew going in: I recognized the man falling into the spiral image. Seriously. 

What's kind of nice about most of the films on my Blind Spot list is that I haven't bothered to read the plot lines of some of them. I chose them all out of hear say. So when I got Vertigo in the mail and saw it's PG rating, that was a surprise. I didn't know what I was getting into.

When we first meet Scottie, (James Stewart) a detective, he's running across the roof tops chasing a criminal with his partner. He slips and nearly falls off a building, he looks down, and vertigo hits. Turns out Scottie is petrified of heights. it doesn't help that the other police officer trying to save him falls to his death while doing it. When we see Scottie again, it's been some time since this highly publicized incident. He's retired now, and approached by an old college friend, Gavin Elster (Tom Helmore) who wants him to tail his wife. (Kim Novak)

Vertigo is quite fascinating, it's also kind of a mind fuck. When the credits hit, I nearly restarted the film just to make sure I processed everything correctly. I didn't though, I just gave it a bit of time to settle in. The film doesn't age particularly well. The effects are kind of awful, but it's one of those things you just have to dismiss. I really enjoyed the story Hitchcock told here. It was very complex. James Stewart was also a high light for me. I was surprised to find a lot of negative things said about him on the net about his performance in this film. I thought he was great.

This is one of two Hitchcock films on my Blind Spot list, the next being North by Northwest.  Venturing away from his horror movies is off to a good start.

Recommended: Yes

Grade: B

Memorable Quote: "It's a brassiere!" - Midge (Barbara Bel Gaddes)

Rambling TV: Game of Thrones recap

I think The Lion and the Rose might be the funniest episode of Game of Thrones so far. So many great facial expressions here. A bad head cold ruined my master plan of getting drunk while watching this, but of course this show is solid and I still managed to enjoy myself, mountain of tissues and all. Also if you click the gifs used in this post, they should redirect you to the lovely Tumblr artists they are from.

We start off with the PG-13 version of Ramsay's hunting activities. (Thank God) I still think it's kind of stupid that Ramsay has a crazy chick helping him. I don't imagine her living quite long to be honest. 

Tyrion and Jaime have a little heart to heart. Tyrion drops an awesome line: "Cersei can't get enough boar since one killed Robert." Jaime confesses to Tyrion he can't fight left handed, so Tyrion lends him someone to practice with...

Bronn. In the books, Jaime sparred with Ser Illyn because he had no tongue, therefore he couldn't talk. Since the actor that played him was diagnosed with terminal cancer, I'm assuming this is why they made the switch. I'm okay with it. Sure, it makes less sense, but there's no such thing as "too much Bronn."

Ramsay meets Roose and his new wife, Walda at the Dreadfort. Did Ramsay seriously call her "mother?" Did I hear that right? Roose meets Theon and gets a little pissy with Ramsay for torturing him, as he wanted to trade him for Moat Cailin. Ramsay proves Reek's loyalty by letting him shave him while he tells him that Robb Stark is dead. Alfie Allen was great here. He also drops the bomb that Bran and Rickon are still alive. Roose sends Locke after the boys, and tells Ramsay to take Theon to Moat Cailin. Then he'll "reconsider his position" in the family. Honestly, I liked this scene, but I don't care for Ramsay having THAT much pull over Roose. In the books, it's rather clear that Roose is the brains behind everything. I kind of think book Roose would've bitch slapped Ramsay here.

Varys tells Tyrion that Cersei found out about Shae.

During Joffrey's gift giving ceremony, Cersei points Shae out to Tywin. (I'm actually surprised they are putting THIS much stock into this) Joffrey makes an awful joke about swinging his new sword and it being like chopping off Ned Stark's head every time. Sansa is getting real tired of Joffrey's shit.

Tyrion breaks up with Shae. Shae The Funny Whore still needs acting lessons. 

We finally catch up with Team Dragonstone as they casually burn people alive. Davos has taken a page from Sansa's book and is 100% done with this shit. Stannis looks that way too, but he's not going to fucking say it. Selyse is still kind of bat shit. "I hate many things, but I suffer them all the same." Stannis says to her during dinner. Obviously, we couldn't tell by that look on your face, Stannis. I did love how defensive he got over Shireen when Selyse threatened to beat her. That made me happy.

Melisandre and Shireen have a little chit chat where Shireen, taking a page from Sansa and Davos' book tells Melisandra that she is also 100% done with this shit.

We check in with Bran and company now. They're still in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. I can't believe the kid that plays Jojen is 23. Anyways, Bran has his greenseeing visions when he touches the heart tree, and just like that, I am proved wrong when I thought that scene of the dragon flying over King's Landing was just for promotional purposes.

Wedding Time! We're going to do this rapid fire style.

 You know one thing that kind of drives me nuts, when Joff and Margaery are being married off, it's "Joffrey of the Houses Baratheon and Lannister" If there were wide-spread rumors of your kid being a product of incest, wouldn't you want to step as far away from that as possible? I would be like ALL BARATHEON ALL THE TIME. No House Lannister, no lions, no red. Nothing. Why draw attention to it?

Tywin and Olenna are chatting. NOT NOW, MACE!!

Of course Oberyn and Ellaria are checking everyone out

Olenna gets up close and personal with Sansa's necklace.

Cersei gives Margaery the funniest passive/aggressive bitch look of all time.

Loras and Jaime get in a shade throwing contest.

Cersei and Brienne speak. For a second, I actually think Cersei is being genuine in her thanks. Then she hears about this business of Jaime saving Brienne. Cersei calls Brienne out on loving Jaime, and I think this might be the first time Brienne has even considered it. Jaime looks confused in the distance.  

Cersei tells Grand Maester Pycelle to go fuck himself.

Oberyn and Ellaria chat with Tywin and Cersei, and he reminds Cersei about 100 times that she is the FORMER queen regent. I never thought the word "former" would ever end up being so hysterical.

In the books, Joffrey has a bunch of dwarfs in a jousting match. Here, he has them reenact the war of the 5 kings, complete with Renly's ass hanging out, and another dwarf taking a page from Marty Hart's book and "skull fucking" Robb's head. Sansa is STILL 100% done with this shit.

And so is Margaery 

And Oberyn

And Varys

And Olenna

Joffrey decides he's going to humiliate Tyrion. Tyrion of course, gives him a smart ass remake, but Joffrey is intent on making it worse. Margaery breaks the ice by shouting "Oh look, the pie!" trying to distract everyone else.

Joffrey cuts the pie with his sword, killing some innocent doves, of course, and demands Tyrion be his cup bearer. He drinks some wine that Tyrion pours, and immediately starts choking.

He collapses, Jaime ridiculously runs towards him. Cersei literally shoves Margaery aside to get to him, the shoves Jaime off of him as well. Joffrey points to Tyrion, accusing him. Because you know, the guy was making fun of you 5 minutes ago and miraculously managed to smuggle poison in front of everyone in those 5 minutes.

Ser Dontos approaches Sansa during all of this and tells her if she wants to live, she needs to leave. Now. 

Joffrey dies, Cersei demands for Tyrion's arrest. The look on her face could kill.

I watched other things on TV this week, but Game of Thrones is kind of just consuming all my thoughts right now.

The 10 Most Iconic Movie Characters (Relay)

The always wonderful Josh over at The Cinematic Spectacle was kind enough to pass me this baton. This relay originates from the also wonderful Nostra from My FilmViews. 

The Rules:
"A list of 10 iconic movie characters has been made. That list will be assigned to another blogger who can then change it by removing one character (describing why they think it should not be on the list) and replace it with another one (also with motivation) and hand over the baton to another blogger. Once assigned that blogger will have to put his/her post up within a week. If this is not the case the blogger who assigned it has to reassign it to another blogger. After you have posted your update leave the link in the comments here and I will make sure it gets added to the overview post."

This was harder than I thought it would be. I thought about characters like Harry Potter or Gollum, but they were iconic from books before they were on film. I toyed with the idea of reinstating Samuel L. Jackson's Jules. I'd love to throw another horror icon in there, but Josh just did that. So I settled with something currently missing from the list: Animation.

Who Stays

Rocky Balboa

James Bond

E.T

Indiana Jones

Mary Poppins

Ellen Ripley

Darth Vader

Dorothy Gale

Michael Myers

Who I'm removing:

The Tramp

When I look at all of the people on this list, I think of their character first, not the actor. Accept for The Tramp. I just see Charlie Chaplin, so for that reason I have to chop you.

Who I'm Adding:

Buzz Lightyear

My first thought was to list Roger Rabbit, as that is an animated character that is identifiable even by people who haven't actually seen the film. Then I thought about Buzz. Buzz falls into that category too, and not only that, he's iconic to many generations. The Toy Story movies spanned long enough to where they each captured a different generation (and their parents) Buzz Lightyear will probably still be marketable for a long time. I feel like he's always going to be a character we remember. Then there's the added fact that the internet has meme'd him.

I'm passing the baton on to someone I know will add someone intriguing, Candice over at Reel Talk!

Here is everyone that has participated so far:

Nostra from My FilmViews

Keith from Keith and the Movies

Ruth from Flixchatter

Andrew from A Fistful of Films

Manon from The Movie Scrutineer

Sati from Cinematic Corner

Alex from And So It Begins

Josh from The Cinematic Spectacle

Brittani from Rambling Film

Indie Gems: Mr. Nobody

Do you remember?

It's the year 2092. Nemo Nobody (Jared Leto) is the last living mortal. At 118, he's become somewhat of a celebrity - Truman show style. He tries to answer questions about his life to a reporter, but instead, we're given several different outcomes of how Nemo's life was/could've been.

Now that Dallas Buyers Club reminded us that Jared Leto could act again, it's nice to look back on something he did awhile ago. Leto gives a great performance, as does Juno Temple, another favorite of mine. 

Movies with a dreamy narrative like this can get risky. They might not make sense to some, come off as pretentious to others, but this one is neither of those things. It's beautifully crafted and easy to follow. Then there's the score/music selection. It's wonderful. I'm actually letting the DVD menu roll as I write this because I just love listening to it that much.

Grade: B

Memorable Quote: "We are NOT brother and sister." - Anna - age 15 (Juno Temple)

DVD Review: Nebraska

I hear Nebraska's nice..

Woody (Bruce Dern) is an elderly man from Billings, MT who received a letter in the mail saying he won $1,000,000. It's an obvious scam, as his son David (Will Forte) points out. But Woody is determined to go to Nebraska to claim his price. After several attempts of walking there himself, David finally agrees to drive him, much to the disdain of his mother, Kate. (June Squibb)

Despite enjoying Alexander Payne's work, Nebraska wasn't something that caught my interest early on, but I'm happy to say that it was a very enjoyable film. I normally don't care for modern black and white movies. Yes, there are a few gems here and there, but when budget allows you to shoot in color and you shoot in black and white, you risk coming off as a hipster for lack of a better word. I think the reason it worked so well for me was because I'm from the Mid West. I'm used to seeing the rolling flat plains, they're boring as hell, but Payne shooting in black and white actually made them look more beautiful. I didn't think that was possible.

Dern and Squibb both got Oscar nominations for their roles, they were definitely deserved. Squibb makes the most of her small amount of screen time while Dern carries the film. I remember reading an interview with Will Forte where he said he felt out of his league acting along side the likes of Dern and Squibb. There was honestly only one scene towards the end where I think he looked overwhelmed. Otherwise, I thought Forte was a nice addition. It's great to see him do something a little more serious. Plus, this movie includes Stacey Keach getting punched in the face, and that NEVER gets old.

Recommended: Yes

Grade: B+

Memorable Quote: "I just wanted to leave you boys something." - Woody (Bruce Dern)

Review: Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Who can we trust? Nobody? Got it.

The Cap is back. Steve Rogers (Chris Evans and his impressive torso) is still trying to fit in the modern world. He makes friends with a fellow vet, Sam (gorgeous Anthony Mackie) he dodges relationship questions from his co worker, Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson, with a distracting wig) oh, and S.H.I.E.L.D has become compromised from the inside. Now on top of not knowing who to trust, he has to deal with a new threat in the Winter Soldier (Sebastian Stan) who is actually Rogers' old pal Bucky Barnes.

There's a lot of great things in CA2. First, we finally get a scene with Rogers and Peggy together again, and it's just as sweet as I always imagined. We get to see Nick Fury REALLY kick some ass. We get to see PG-13 violence stretched to it's limit. (Seriously, I was kind of surprised) and of course we get some pretty damn cool action scenes. Sure, this film ends up suffering from "where the fuck are the other avengers" syndrome, but that's something we're going to have to accept. 

The plot may seem like a lot to take in at times, and if I still watched Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, I'd be really interested in how the events of this film are going to affect that show. The real treat for me was actually the first scene after the credits, as it sets up Avengers: Age of Ultron nicely. (The last scene after the credits really isn't anything special. Maybe I'm just a jerk) It's hard not to get excited over a Marvel movie.

Recommended: Yes

Grade: A-

Memorable Quote: "They don't exactly put the numbers on the outside.." - Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson)

Rambling TV: Game of Thrones recap + other TV thoughts

Oh Game of Thrones, I'm so glad you're back. You did not disappoint. As always, there's too many characters to fit into one episode, but we did catch up with most of them in the premiere, Two Swords. This is what happened.

Tywin has a blacksmith melt down Ned Stark's great sword, Ice into two separate swords. All while The Rains of Castamere played. You're such an A-hole, Tywin. This was our cold open (which I wish they'd do in every episode)

Dreadfort and Mereen have been added to our opening map. I'm glad they're still showing Winterfell too.

Tywin and Jaime argue about Jaime being a 40 year old hand less knight of the King's Guard. Tywin presented Jaime with one of the swords he had made earlier. This scene was a lot angrier in the book, but I thought it played out nicely here. This is also the first of two times they put emphasis on Jaime's age, which I thought was a little weird.

Tyrion, Bronn, and Podrick wait to greet the Prince of Dorne. Bronn got golden lines, of course. Podrick named a few of the sigils of the smaller houses. We learn that The Prince of Dorne is in ill health, so he sent his brother Oberyn instead.  Tyrion notes that there's bad blood between the Lannisters and the Martells of Dorne. We cut to the brothel (of course) where notorious whore Oberyn is picking out women (and men) for he and his paramor, Elaria. He overhears two Lannister men singing, and promptly stabs one of them. I think he instantly just became the Unsullied's new favorite character. When he and Tyrion meet, they talk about how Oberyn's sister Elia was married to Rhaegar Targaryen, she bore him children, and he left her for another woman. During the sack of King's Landing, Tywin ordered The Mountain to kill Elia and her children. What he actually did was stab the older daughter to death, smash the infant son's head against a wall, and rape and kill Elia while her son's brain matter was all over his bands. You might remember The Mountain for chopping off his horse's head in season 1. Yeah, he's a total douche. Oberyn is here for his revenge. 

We cut to Dany sitting with her dragons, who are getting increasingly hostile. Jorah stares on with his Khaleesi face.

Grey Worm and new Daario had a little contest. Daario is still an asshole. I like the look of the other guy better (because his face was more punchable) but this guy seems alright too.

Sansa, who is still traumatized from the events of the Red Wedding is refusing to eat. Tyrion tries to talk some sense into her, but she's 100% done with everyone's shit at this point. Later, Shae tries to seduce Tyrion, but he isn't having it. 

Cersei has Jaime fitted with his golden hand, that he doesn't like. (I loved how he waived goodbye to Qyborn with it.) He points out Cersei's drinking and she bitches about everything that happened (including calling Ser Loras a "renowned pillow biter.) She cock blocks him and tells him he took to long to get to her. Fuck Cersei, go find Brienne.

We check in with the Wildlings, and get introduced to the Thenns, who are just as creepy as I imagined them to be.

Jon talks to Sam about always being jealous of Robb. This is the only part that bothered me, that Jon learned of the Red Wedding off screen. I would've liked to have seen that. Sam points out that Jon is better than him at everything except eating. Awww...Sam.

Jon tells the acting Lord Commander about the impending Wildling attack. We're reintroduced to enormous prick, Janos Slynt. (He was the captain of the city watch that Tyrion sent to the wall in season 2) They're all outraged and what not that Jon got laid. Maester Aemon vouches for him and says Jon is telling the truth.

Brienne visits Margaery and Ollenna (who totally fan girls over Brienne) and tells him what really happened to Renly. 

Jack Gleeson deserves an Emmy for playing Joffrey. That guy even stands like an asshole

Joffrey taunts Jaime over being, well, himself again. But hey, he mentioned Arthur Dayne!

Jaime and Brienne argue over his vows. It was adorable. Jaime asked Brienne if she's sure she isn't actually a Lannister, and my inner shipper fan girled because they are meant to be.

Sansa is praying in the God's wood and runs into Ser Dontos! He gives her a necklace that belonged to his mother and asks that she give his name one last change to bask in the sunlights. She obliges. 


And now onto the best ending of a premiere episode - Arya and The Hound are outside of an Inn. Arya spots Polliver, the man who took Needle from her and killed her friend Lommy. "What the fucks a Lommy?" The Hound asks, in the line of the night. They go inside, see Polliver and his douchey men, they start to talk up The Hound, who is rivaling Sansa at this point for being 100% done with people's shit. A fight breaks out, The Hound kills most of the men. Arya grabs a sword and kills one, runs up behind Polliver and cuts the back of his knees. She then takes Needle from him and repeats the same words he said to Lommy right before he killed him. Then she shoves Needle through his head. 

I loved this entire episode, sorry my recap got so long, I'm just excited. I can't wait for next week. Especially for the Unsullied fans, they're in for a real treat


Funny quotes from Veep
"Get out of the way or I'll fucking inhale you!"
"All my orgasms have come at once."

Am I the only one who hopes that's not the last we see of Jonah? I love watching him get made fun of.

So recently I've become fascinated with 19 Kids and Counting Courting. It all started with an article I read on a book the four oldest daughters wrote. They talked about how evil pornography is and how they "censor" their thoughts so they don't think about sex. I stumbled upon this forum that has apparently been snarking away at this family (and others) for quite some time. Now I can't stop reading. Help.

Indie Gems: The Station Agent

That's what friends are for.

A man with Dwarfism, Fin, (Peter Dinklage) inherits some property in the form of an old train station in New Jersey when his only friend passes away. He moves there with the intent to essentially become a hermit. That plan is thrown when he meets a talkative hot dog vender, Joe (Bobby Canavale) and a troubled woman, Olivia (Patricia Clarkson) who nearly runs him over. Twice. They force him to come out of his shell and make friends.

Besides Game of Thrones, this really is some of Dinklage's best work. 2003 was such a weird year, Oscar wise. I think Dinklage really should've gotten a nomination for this. He's so guarded playing Fin. I just wanted to give him a giant hug during the entire film. Canavale was hilarious too. I'm used to seeing him in more antagonistic roles. (Hello, Gyp Rosetti) But here he's so adorable. You want to tell him to shut up, but you would be heartless if you did. The always reliable Clarkson gave a great performance as well. It's a great thing when a small cast like this really comes together, and they definitely did.

Grade: A

Memorable Quote: "You guys, this is boring, can we talk?" - Joe (Bobby Canavale)

DVD Review: Rush

Formula One isn't the over seas version of Nascar.

In all seriousness, that's what I assumed Formula One was before I saw this film. I've never seen it on TV, I do not know a single person that has ever mentioned it. With all of that in mind, I was wondering if I could truly enjoy a movie about a sport that I was so in the dark about.

Well, I can, given Ron Howard is directing it. Rush is based on a true story about the lives of James Hunt (Chris Hemsworth) and Niki Lauda, (Daniel Bruhl) two Formula One racers who had a much publicized rivalry. 

How this film didn't get editing or sound nominations at the Oscars is beyond me. Both of those things really stood out to me. Especially the editing. The way this film is shot is quite extraordinary. The quick cuts during the races, when the pit crew is changing tires on the car, simple things like that were really magnified. The standout in this film is easily Daniel Bruhl. He gives a hell of a performance. It's not just because he's good at playing an asshole either. (Hello Inglorious Basterds) It's easy to view Niki as the antagonist early on, but he never fully becomes that when you're watching him. He's just a straightforward guy, where as James is more charming. They have an interesting "relationship" if you can call it that. It's a shame Supporting Actor was so crowded this year, I think overall, I would've substituted Bruhl for Abdi, but even that's a tough choice.  

I ended up enjoying Rush a lot more than I thought I would. I almost went to it in theaters so many times, but I always skipped out last minute. Sure, there was an odd amount of boobs in a film about racing cars, but I like I said earlier, I was really pulled in, even though I didn't know the sport. It's how I imagine non-baseball fans felt about Moneyball. 

Recommended: Yes

Grade: B

Memorable Quote: "You were equally responsible for getting me back in the car." - Niki Lauda (Daniel Bruhl)