Rambling TV: Game of Thrones recap + other TV thoughts

Feels. I have too many of them. Mockingbird was filled with so many emotional scenes. I know I said last week that Dinklage's Emmy reel was probably in that performance, but he was even better this time around. Don't forget to click those gifs to be redirected to their makers. 

We start out in Tyrion's cell, where Jaime is upset about Tyrion's decision to have a trial by combat. Jaime can't believe that Tyrion fell in love with a whore. Note the look on Jaime's face when Tyrion says "I was stupid enough to think she loved me back." Jaime tells Tyrion he can't protect him now, he couldn't fight a stable boy with his left hand, and Cersei has chosen The Mountain as her champion.

We check in with Baby Mountain killing some randoms. Henceforth, he will be known as "Baby Mountain" because he does NOT look old enough to be The Hound's older brother. Why didn't they just keep the season one guy?

Arya and the Hound find a wounded man, and put him out of his misery. Soon, Rorge and Biter (remember them from season 2) sneak up behind The Hound, trying to kill them for the ransom Tywin placed on his head. The Hound kills Biter, Arya kills Rorge. I guess Brienne is going to have a different story in S5 now.

Later, Arya tries to treat The Hound's wound with fire, but he understandably freaks. He tells her the story of how The Mountain burned his face for stealing his toy when they were kids. "I wasn't stealing it, I was just playing with it." he says pitifully. The Hound really was let down by his family. This whole thing very sad.

We check in with the Night's Watch, where Jon Snow continues to be brow beaten by Ser Alliser. Asshole.

Bronn finally visits Tyrion, and tells him he's now getting married. I was kind of surprised they had this in the show, to be honest. I thought they'd leave it out. Bronn won't fight for Tyrion. He's afraid of The Mountain, and when has Tyrion ever risked his life for him? All valid points, really. It's still sad to see Bronn and Tyrion's friendship seemingly end like this. 

Daario sneaks into Dany's quarters to complain about being put on bouncer duty on the streets of Meereen. He's good at war and women, he says. Dany asks him to do what he does best, and demands him to get naked. Later, as Daario is swaggering out of her room, he runs into Jorah. Because of course Ser Friendzone needs to witness this shit.

Dany lets Jorah know that she's sending Daario and the Second Sons to Yunkai to retake it, and to kill all the remaining masters. Jorah counsels her that killing them is sending a bad message. There's good and bad on both sides, and if Ned Stark had killed Jorah for sending people to slavery, he wouldn't be here having this discussion. She tells him to send Loraq with Daario to serve as an ambassador, and to tell the masters they will live in her new world or die in their old one. Then she tells Jorah to tell Daario that HE changed her mind.

Melisandre filled Game of Thrones quota for random boobs for the week. 

Brienne and Pod are in a tavern having a nice meal, served to them by Hot Pie of all people! I fangirled at the sight of Hot Pie. Brienne mentions Sansa by name. Podrick doesn't think this is a good idea, Brienne is about to consider this as a valid point until Hot Pie comes out to tell them he knows of Arya Stark, and gives them another wolf bread loaf to give to her. Now they've changed destinations to the Vale of Arryn to look for them both.

In what was one of my two favorite scenes of the night, Oberyn visits Tyrion in his cell. He tells him a story of how he went to Casterly Rock as a child, not long after Tyrion was born. The talk of the trip was the monster born to Tywin Lannister, but when Cersei and Jaime took he and Elia to see Tyrion. He pointed out that "That's not a monster, that's a baby." Cersei abused Tyrion until Jaime made her stop. Then told the Martells that "he's going to die soon anyways. He shouldn't have lived this long." You could tell Tyrion always knew Cersei hated him, but watching him try to hold back tears here made it seems like even he didn't know how deep that ran. He was hated from the moment he was born. 

Oberyn tells him he's looking for Justice for Elia and her children, and now that The Mountain has been named Cersei's champion, he will be Tyrions.

It's snowing in The Vale, so Sansa decides to build an elaborate snow castle in the shape of Winterfell. This was one of my favorite scenes in the book, and I'm glad it made it on screen. Robin comes out to be annoying and ruin Sansa's castle, so she bitch slaps him. As he runs of crying, Littlefinger appears (because he's apparently always watching her) and tells Sansa that Lysa should've slapped him a long time ago. Sansa demands to know why he really killed Joffrey. Littlefinger says he loved her mother, and "given the opportunity, what do we do to those who hurt the ones we love?" Taking his Perving to the next level, he remarks that if they lived in a world where it was love over honor, Sansa could've been his daughter. Then he tells her she's more beautiful than her mother ever was and kisses her. All while Lysa watches from a distance. 

Lysa calls Sansa to the Moon Door and tries to throw her out. Littlefinger shows up to talk her out of if. He tells her there's only one woman he's loved his entire life -- her sister. Then he promptly shoves her out.

As awesome as this scene still was, I have to complain. The line was "only Cat" in the book. I'm assuming they changed it because even the most casual of viewers can't be bothered to remember who "Cat" was. I hate when shows dumb down shit like this. I expect this from shows like The Walking Dead, but not Game of Thrones. 

Now we have to wait two weeks to see the next episode, all because some people didn't tune into Blackwater over Memorial Day a few years ago. I suppose it's good strategy, people NEED to see these episodes, but it still sucks waiting, nonetheless. 

Best One Liners from Veep 

"Wasn't it Oscar Wilde who said Dan's a fucking awful campaign manager."

"I don't panic, I'm a fucking Ice Man, that's why I'm the campaign manager."

"Lets get the merry old fuck out of merry old England"

Jonah's entire reading of Dan's chart: "Cancer of the soul, inverted nipples, abnormally high douche readings. 37 different kinds of semen pumped from stomach. Anal bleeding. Tiny child balls."


  1. I don't have anything to add here as I don't watch this show but I LOVE Iain Glen, he's one of those crush-worthy older Brits ;)

    Oh and Veep sounds like another great show I wish I had time to watch!

    1. Iain Glen is so hot. That's why I have an even harder time understanding why Dany doesn't go for him. LOOK at him.

      Veep is an excellent show. It's only 30 mins too, so it's a quick one to catch up on if you ever decide to watch. I think you'd like it.

  2. Jonah was sooooooo awesome in this episode, man. Hilarious stuff. Also, I am sad to see Chris Meloni's Ray go :(

    1. I'm a little sad to see him go too. He was hilarious.

  3. I still don't get Only Cat changed. It's literally two words. Are they really under impression people are this dumb? Littlefinger literally reminded the audience of his love for Catelyn in a scene before that one.

    I didn't like Sansa's smugness during the talk with Robin. I liked the slap, though :)

    1. I know! That's why I'm not 100% sure if that's why they changed it? Someone needs to interview them and ask, I think it's a good question.

  4. Jonah reading Dan's chart was great. I love Amy's little YES! moment and her British accent.

  5. Because of course Ser Friendzone needs to witness this shit. = I cried in the episode, laughed in your recap.

    The "your sister" felt awkward even to me, non-book reader. I wish they'd kept the original, GoT fanbase should be devoted enough to remember.

    1. I hate when they have to dumb things down, but at least the scene still worked. Poor Jorah, he always makes me want to cry.

    2. Oh, yes, the scene was still powerful!

      I really came back here because I forgot to mention how much these first two gifs make me laugh every time I see them -- best use of that meme, ever!

    3. Right? I had to share those immediately when I saw them!

  6. Hot pie! I want that to be my new nickname. Great recap Brittani. Oh the Dany scenes...I'm not sure if it's Emilia's delivery this year or the choppy way they are showing her scenes, but the Dany storyline has been a real low point this year.

    1. Dany's story is like that in the books too. It gets really boring. I don't think her delivery is too bad, I just think everything is going to look mediocre compared to her Dracarys scene.


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