DVD Review The Chocolate War

This is what happens..

This is what happens when your Netflix queue is a 50+ DVD disaster. You throw films in, then you can't remember why you put them there or who recommended them to you.

This brings me to The Chocolate War. What the fuck was I thinking? This story follows Jerry (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) a new student at a private Catholic school who has to deal with his new classmates forcing him to conform to their ways, and one of the weirdest teachers of all time in Brother Leon. (John Glover) On top of that, Brother Leon is practically forcing these kids to try to sell chocolate bars to get the school extra funds. 

Maybe I was feeling nostalgic for The Dangerous Lives of Alter Boys or Saved when I threw this one in the queue. I do like to grab random indies as I see them, but this just wasn't good. It was sluggish and decent performances aside couldn't save it. Plus the casting is terrible. I get it, adults play teenagers. It's easier to avoid child labor laws. But when half your class of teenagers look about 30, you did something wrong. 

This was based on a book, which I haven't read. Perhaps that translates better. 

Recommended: No

Grade: F

Memorable Quote: "Don't you have some great days or some rotten days?" - Jerry ( Ilan Mitchell-Smith)


  1. Yikes. I will definitely avoid this one. :-)

    1. I'm sure most people did anyways. It was made in the 80's, I believe.

  2. Wow, I'm sure you've given movies F's before, but this is the first one I've seen! It must be really really bad. I'm surprised b/c John Glover is a great actor. I recently had to cull my netflix cue. I figure life is too short for terrible movies.

    1. I have. Glover is good but this movie is so boring and forgettable that I can't give it any higher.

  3. Um, why would you ever want to watch a movie named...The Chocolate War?

  4. This sounds like a really bad porno.

    Not that I'd know anything about that. Yeesh.

  5. I'll pass. That title alone tells me STAY AWAY! LOL

    1. The title is pretty awful. That should've been my first clue.


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