Review: The Witches
I smell children.
The hero of our story (Jahzir Bruno) is a young boy who after losing his parents in a car crash goes to live with his grandmother. (Octavia Spencer) Is with her that he finds out witches exist. In an attempt to run from them, they end up at a swanky hotel where the Grand High Witch (Anne Hathaway) is hosting a convention of sorts where all witches are conspiring to turn children into mice.
Admittedly, I'm not familiar with Ronald Dahl's original story, and I didn't see the 90's version of this either. In fact, I never bothered watching the trailer either, so I went into this as blind as possible when my nine year old brought up watching it for family movie night.
So how did age nine fair with this? Well, parts scared him a little. He's too young to be distracted by bad CGI, but overall he liked it. For me, I can't imagine ever wanting to watch this again. Campy Anne Hathaway is wonderful and she's clearly having a good time. Octavia Spencer is wonderful at playing warm and loving, but I just didn't connect with the film after the mice part of the story took over. But that's okay, I know this isn't *for me*
SPOILER WARNING because I just have to bring this up - the ending is kind of morbid, right? When we find out the kids have to remain as mice. I had remarked "what's going to happen to them after the grandma dies?" To which my son replied "Well, mice can't live that long can they?" Then movie actually addresses this and the Hero kid, I shit you not, is perfectly fine with living for 9 more years and dying around the same time as his grandma. Like.....what?
Recommended: Sure, if you have HBO Max. It's already free.
Memorable Quote: " witch gets the same pleasure from squishing a child as you get from eating a bowl of ice cream covered in butterscotch syrup, with whipped cream, chopped nuts and a cherry on top." - Older Hero (Chris Rock)