Game of Thrones
It's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack. This was a sold opener (aside from one thing) that got the ball rolling.
Davos hears Ghost's heartbreaking howling and he finds Jon's body. He, Edd, and some other Night's Watch men get his body into a room and baracade themselves. Throne, like the asshole he is tells the other members of the NW about what he did, and tries to rally them to their side. Davos knows there's going to be a fight. Melisandre takes one look at Jon and leaves, her faith shaken. Edd goes off to summon the Wildlings while Davos makes terms with Throne like a boss. Stannis would be proud. The episode ends with Melisandre's glamour coming off, showing her in her true form...that of an ancient woman. Wow.
Ramsay brings his dead girlfriend up to his wife's bedroom. Talks about how much he loved her, then orders the maester to feed her body to the hounds. Stay classy, Ramsay. Roose then keeps up with PA parenting 101 and brow beats Ramsay about losing Sansa and Theon. He ends with the comment that his wife is carrying a son.
Out in the snow, Theon and Sansa are running from the Bolton forces. They go through a freezing river and hide under a tree. Theon hugs Sansa, and it's so sad because you know he's thinking of Robb there too and how he let down the Starks. He offers himself up so she can escape, but just as they're about to be captured, Brienne and Pod show up and kick some Bolton ass. Theon even kills one of them. Brienne swears her oath to Sansa like she did Catelyn, and Sansa accepts. Pod helped her with the words.
Fucking Dorne is a catastrophe. Seriously, I get they're trying to get some faux feminism "girl power!" thing going on with the Sand Snakes and Ellaria but it just doesn't work. I see all these jokes on Twitter about the Sham Snakes "listening to Lemonade early." Now. These women aren't empowering. They're going on a stupid revenge story for Oberyn who would not approve of them obliterating his ENTIRE family line, which they did in this episode. Fuck Dorne. I hope I never see it again.
Cersei is practically skipping to the harbor to greet Myrcella and Jaime and I almost feel bad. When Cersei finds out she dies, she tells Jaime of the prophecy of her children dying and how she knows it's now true. We also check in on Margaery in the dungeon, and you can tell she's about to plot something.
Tyrion and Varys have some great banter and then all of Dany's ships got set on fire. Whoops.
The Dothraki are pigs. They talk about the most disgusting things and Dany doesn't say anything until the last minute when she makes everyone look like an idiot. I loved that. It's been a while since I loved a Dany scene. Unfortunately for her they're taking her to Vaes Dothrak because that's where widowed Khaleesi's are supposed to live. Daario and Jorah are on her trail.
Poor Arya is still blind and getting her ass kicked by the Waif. That water dancing training should be handy right about now.
Better Call Saul
The episode started with this really brilliant shot of Chuck on a gurney that was very unique. I love when they do things like that. The directors of this show manage to seamlessly pull of tricks like that without feeling pretentious.
Let's talk about the tension in the scene where Mike has a gun on the Salamancas. It's amazing how intense that was, even when you know three of those people obviously don't die.
Then there's the ending. With Jimmy confessing he set Chuck up and Chuck capturing it all on a tape recorder. I hated it. It ruined the entire episode for me. Not only because I saw it coming but because Chuck is literally the worst. I suppose it makes for good drama next season, but it was so typical and that's something Better Call Saul/Breaking Bad rarely is/was.
Agents of SHIELD
Inhumans are boring and they were the main focus of this episode. Every time one of them does something stupid, I secretly wish that an Avenger would show up and put them in their place. It did get more interesting towards the end. Hive, as they're now calling FrankenWard can possess Inhumans, and after a reenactment of And Then There Were None, we find out he got Daisy. As much as I wish they would kill both her and Ward off, they won't. But at least this should be interesting.
May continues to be my spirit animal asking "what the hell is going on?"
Malick is dead, at first I thought it was really underwhelming that he died off screen, then they flashed back to it and it was actually fucking gruesome.
Now for the most important part of this episode: FITZSIMMONS! They're finally a canon ship! It was so sweet and laid back and perfect, and I will kill this show with fire if they ever split them apart.
Holy shit this episode was hilarious. I can't believe how on point the dialogue was. Selena still doesn't know if she won the election or now, she's sending Amy (who recruits Dan) to Nevada to schmooze some voters that have to revote. Jonah also got demoted which always warms my heart.
Memorable Quotes: "I declare a state of go fuck yourself." "You can't quib, I already fired you, rebard." (Said after receiving a text with a typo in it) "There is now time for some Chinese baby. Cancel it and see if you can get your money back."
Rambling TV is a weekly series where I ramble semi coherently about the things I've watched on television. There's usually wine involved on my part. Click those gifts to be redirected to their makers.