True Blood is the king of blue balling it's audience.
gif via mister-brett
"Alexander Skarsgard is so good looking, it's an actual crime he puts on clothes." - A Tweet via Lady Sati
This is the truth.
I don't like to rant about True Blood, because honestly it's one of my favorite shows. I hate that I pick shows that do this to me. Hell, even Rescue Me at it's worst has not been as absurd as True Blood, but Lord...here we go....
Sookie and Alcide see all of the vampires being all high and happy in the sun. She sees Jason, meets Violet, hugs Pam and Tara, and Bill apparently re-gains all of his Sookie feelings from a far despite him essentially telling her to go fuck herself 24 hours ago. Sookie goes back to Warlow to tell him she wants to take it slow, and shocker! He backhands her and tells her
ain't nobody got time for that! That he did not wait 5,000 years to become part of her community.
Long story short, Jason, Bill, Violet, Andy, use Adalyn's faery light to get back into the Fae plane, save Sookie and knock Warlow around a bit. They get back to Sookie's house where Warlow promptly zaps Bill and Violet, throws Andy, and Jason in Eric's old cubby, and finds Sookie hiding in the bathroom. Suddenly Niall shows up from whatever dimension he's in, Grabs Warlow, and Jason stakes him. That's it. The season long arc ends with zero fan fare. Much like they disposed Russell last season. What the fuck, True Blood? You used to be good at rapping shit up. When Russell got buried in season 3, that was some crazy shit. When Marianne died in season 2, she went out in a spectacular fashion. When season 1 ended, we thought Lafayette was dead. It felt like an after thought.
When Warlow died, all of the other vamps lost their day walking power. We cut to a scene of gloriously naked Eric sun bathing in Sweden, then he bursts into flames. I don't think for one second that this is the last we'll see of Eric, but if it is, that really fucking sucks.
6 months later, Sam no longer owns Merlotte's. Arlene does, and it Belleflour's. Sam is now Mayer, Girl I Don't Give A Fuck About is still there, and Bill is apparently a best selling author. And Sookie is with Alcide, because Sookie always has to be dating someone. Remember how innocent Sookie was in seasons 1 and 2? Then she gets a taste of dick and now has to be with someone constantly? You would think after all the emotional things she's been through she would want to be left alone? Like she said in season 4? Nope.
Hep V is viral and Sam and Bill have hatched a plan that every human should agree to feed a vampire for their own protection. Tara's mom offers to feed her. Isn't feeding supposed to be sexual? That's fucking weird. The season ends with a bunch of hungry vampires descending on
6 months later and they still haven't got Tru Blood back on the shelves? How his Hep V all of a sudden viral? Wouldn't Eric, Willa, Bill, and Pam have got it from Nora? What does Hep V really have to do with anything, anyways? Vampires getting infected on it die quickly, we already saw that. So why are "sick and hungry" vampires roaming around? Shouldn't they die in about 24 hours?
This season wasn't nearly has bad as season 5, but I can't even begin to describe how disappointed I am with True Blood right now. I won't stop watching, I've invested way too much into this show. (And I'm sure season 7 will be it's last) The show runners wanted to bring everything back to Bon Temps, but then they changed everything. It's not going to feel like the True Blood I started watching 6 seasons ago.
How awesome is that picture? This is my new desktop background.
Strangely enough, this episode of Breaking Bad felt like the calm before the storm. Hank called Skylar before Walt even got out of his driveway. Skylar obviously knows she's screwed, she tells Hank she thinks she needs a lawyer. That's the smartest thing she's did in awhile.
Marie visits Skylar at home later, and promptly bitch slaps her when she finds out Skylar knew. Marie tried to take Holly, but Skylar stopped her. I was actually rooting for Skylar there, if someone tried to take my kid away from me I'd flip shit too. Marie tells Hank "you have to get him."
Walt can't get ahold of Jesse, but he has Saul's men move his money, and we got a hilarious scene of Huell laying on Walt's giant pile of cash. I would do that too, after I pocketed a couple hundred thousand of course. What? You would too. I had to laugh when Walt gets all defensive over killing family. This dude blew up a nursing home and has psychologically screwed Jesse, who one could argue is like Walt's surrogate son, over and over.
Walt buries it in the middle of nowhere, memorizes the the longitude and latitude of the location, and smashes his cell phone. When he gets home to Skylar, he passes out from exhaustion. This was a great scene between Cranston and Gunn here. Walt says Skylar has to keep the money. He didn't want to go through all of this for nothing. She knows it's not that simple.
Lydia goes to the underground meth lab to see how everything is going, and has everyone slaughtered. They aren't good enough. Lydia in her Louboutins doesn't want to see the dead bodies, which is ironic since she's the reason they're dead.
Hank goes back to work, he's got to tell the DEA about his hunch. Lucky for him, poor Jesse has been arrested for generously throwing millions of dollars around. Hank asks to question him, he enters the interrogation room, and that's where the episode ends.
One thing I love about Breaking Bad is how great they are about continuity. They're so careful, and I don't think they've ever contradicted themselves. True Blood could learn from them.
Things we learned from The Newsroom
I swear this gif is relevant.
1) Hallie and Jim's awkward make-out session was painful to watch. The Newsroom is going to have to do better than that if they're ever going to have sex on this show.
2) Why is Taylor still around?
3) Poor Neal, again.
4) I find it a little funny that ACN has no HR department. (Jim takes a video call at the office? My upper management trip balls when they see us texting on the job)
5) I also find it funny that despite living in New York City, Jim and Maggie would run in to each other at a bar that isn't their usual hang out.
6) I almost thought Don and Mac were going to sympathy make out. Almost.
7) Jerry Dantana, you're such a fuck. I wanted to jump through the screen and strangle this guy. That basketball game that you left in shot is going to come back and bite you in the ass.
8) So Maggie heard
Stannis Baratheon Stanislaus Stomtonovich say "it happened," but she was telling the lawyers in an earlier episode that he didn't say it? She's lying? Or do I need to watch this again? (it's 11:30pm right now, it's late and I'm lazy)
9) Will, you should've known how ridiculous morning shows are.
10) Jim, if you were really concerned about Maggie's drinking, you should've just invited her back up to your suite.
11) I actually want a Don and Maggie interaction after all of this. There's got to be one.
12) Stephen Root is the man.