DVD Review: Spring Breakers

Spring break forever.
I did the crazy spring break thing once. I went to Mexico with my friends, got spectacularly drunk, and wondered into some guy's apartment and was promptly greeted with "THE BOONDOCK SAINTS IS THE GREATEST FUCKING MOVIE OF ALL TIME!!!" If you want to sober up quickly, have someone tell you the most overrated movie of the 90's is the best movie of all time. Hey speaking of crappy movies..
Spring Breakers follows a group of college students that have known each other since kindergarten, and are dying to get out of town. There's the wild child duo of Brit and Candy, (Ashley Benson and Vanessa Hudgens) promiscuous Cotty, (Rachel Korine) and good girl Faith. (Selena Gomez) Brit, Candy, and Cotty rob a small diner to fund their spring break trip to Florida, and even though Faith doesn't agree with what they did, she goes along. Soon, they're arrested at a party, and bailed out by a wanna be gangster rapper known as Alien. (James Franco) he introduces them to a life of money and guns.
I tried to find the deeper meaning in this film. I know many people that enjoyed this one thoroughly, but I was not one of them. I can appreciate the neon scenery Harmony Korine gave us (minus all the tits), it fit well with the story. But the film has far too many scenes of the characters repeating the same lines over and over again. I like voice overs in film, but to use the same one several times in a row is overkill. Plus the plot is barely strung together. Selena Gomez's character bails about half way through and is completely forgot about. Brit and Candy get away with an insane heist with little to no consequences that we see. They're not offered the best dialogue either. Vanessa Hudgens says the line: "All this money is making my pussy wet." and she sounds like a fucking twelve year old girl when she says it. Raunchy dialogue is pretty much Harmony Korine's trademark by now. He, Larry Clark, and Rob Zombie for example, don't seem to know how to write a screenplay without the main characters swearing or making sexual remarks in every other sentence.
Granted, the film was probably very fun to shoot. The four leads look like they're having a good time. James Franco is arguably the best. He's hysterical as Alien, but even he can't make up for this mess of a movie.
Recommended: No

Grade: D

Memorable Quote: "I got my dark tanning oiiiiiillllllllllllll." - Alien (James Franco)



  1. I actually really liked this, and watching it back to back with Kids brought some intriguing insight to both films, which are tremendous companion pieces towards the same sentiment.

    I'd love to know what you thought of my assessment:

    1. Thanks for linking that to me, I'm off to read it now. Kids is the movie I'm going to show my kid when I don't want him to have sex. Ever. Seriously, if someone would've shown me that in high school, I would've waited!

    2. I know what you mean, about Kids...like, I may seriously have my daughters watch it when they are 12. DO NOT LET ANYONE CONVINCE YOU SEX IS OK!!! The last ten minutes of that movie made me nearly throw up.

  2. This movie is ridiculous.

    I can appreciate weird shit...but still can't believe some of the things I witnessed in this one.

    That f--king piano singalong? What the shit was that?

    Anyway...loved your take. Pretty much with you fully. I think.

    1. That piano scene was my favorite thing about film this year so far!!!

      LOL...I think it was supposed to make you feel completely WTF.

    2. Thank you! I'm glad someone else hated it as much as I did so I'm not alone.

      They picked an amusing song for the piano scene, but it kind of annoyed me because I knew James Franco wasn't really playing that.

  3. I know a lot of people seem to dig this one but I have ZERO interest in seeing this. I don't even care to watch the trailer! Now your review confirmed my dread.

    1. I wrote it off right away as well until I read so many good reviews. I knew I should've stayed away.

  4. If anything... this review has got me wanting to watch "Boondock Saints" before I watch "Spring Breakers".... haha! Greatest movie of all time of most overrated 90s movie.... we'll see! :)

    1. I seriously do not get why so many people think The Boondock Saints was so great. It wasn't horrible, but it's no where as good as some people make it seem.

  5. Sorry you didn't like, but I can't blame you. I'm surprised I love it so much. :)


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