Things Horror Movies Have Ruined For Me
I love horror movies, and I started watching them at a very young age. Young enough for the simplest of things to scare the crap out of me. Actually some of these I saw as adults, so I can't really blame all of these on age. When I look back on it now, I find it pretty funny, but here's 10 things horror movies have "ruined" for me at one point or another.
1) Candyman ruined parking garages.
Being in a parking garage late at night is creepy in it's own way, but even being in them in the middle of the day makes me feel uneasy. All because of "Heeelllen...Heeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllleeeeeeeeeennnnnnnn." Creepy bastard.
2) Candyman (also) ruined park bathrooms.
I'm a lady, so obviously I don't have the exact fear of what happened in that film, but seeing that poor boy lying on the floor in a pool of blood, screaming for his mother is heartbreaking.
3) The Poltergeist ruined Clowns.
Most people say the movie It is what made them afraid of clowns. I thought It was incredibly cheesy even as a kid. I'm not afraid of clowns, I just don't find them amusing. Mostly because of that stupid clown toy in The Poltergeist.
4) Tales of the Crypt ruined my sister's apartment.
I wish I could remember the name of the episode I watched. All I remember is a guy shooting another guy from behind a pillow in an apartment complex that looked nearly identical to the one my older sister lived in at the time. Right down to the furniture. I hated visiting her after watching that. I thought some bat shit crazy psycho was going to burst through the door and kill us all.
5) Faces of Death ruined water skiing.
Thankfully I suck at water skiing, because seeing that "home video" of the dude water skiing right into some boat propellers was enough.
6)Murder-Set-Pieces ruined IMDb posting for awhile.
I used to be a massive IMDb poster for years. I think I activated my account in 2004? Anyways, I used to aimlessly browse the message boards over and over looking through random films. When this extremely low budget feature came out, someone decided he was going to spam every single IMDb board for a horror movie saying that this was the scariest most goriest movie ever and that it needed to be seen. That was annoying. I never participated in any of the arguments about them, but holy crap they were everywhere. I bet it was effective though, I wouldn't know about that film if it weren't for IMDb.
7) Rob Zombie ruined..well, Rob Zombie.
He has an eye for horror and I didn't hate his remake of the first Halloween as much as everyone else did. However, he cannot write a screenplay to save his life. I'm all for Zombie directing horror films, just not writing them. When every other word is a curse word or something sexual, it just gets redundant. I'm all for swearing and sex jokes, but space them out.
8) Salo ruined my entire day.
I never had any intention of watching this movie. My friend was trying to download a torrent of Cannibal Holocaust (not something I care to see either) and she got Salo instead.We had never heard of it. I think we made it through about 15 minutes of it before I begged her to turn it off. That was just awful, and I don't even want to know what happened next. Fuck that.
9) Martyrs ruined my French horror movie marathon.
My friend and I saw High Tension in theaters years earlier, and upon re-watch we decided we'd make a marathon out of French horror films we could find. Well, one of them was Martyrs and I seriously wish I could un-see that movie. This film's violence/is the violence really necessary ratio is seriously off. You know what I should never have to do during a scene where a woman is getting punched in the face over and over? Check my watch because it's gone on for far too many minutes.
10) Pet Sematary ruined the name "Gage."
Over the past few years, I've came across a number of people who have named their kids Gage. While I admit it sounds cool, HOW CAN YOU NOT THINK OF PET SEMATARY? Honorable Mention goes to the name Malachy from Children of the Corn.
Did any horror movies ruin anything for you at one point or another?
*credit Tumblr for that gif*
1) Candyman ruined parking garages.
Being in a parking garage late at night is creepy in it's own way, but even being in them in the middle of the day makes me feel uneasy. All because of "Heeelllen...Heeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllleeeeeeeeeennnnnnnn." Creepy bastard.
2) Candyman (also) ruined park bathrooms.
I'm a lady, so obviously I don't have the exact fear of what happened in that film, but seeing that poor boy lying on the floor in a pool of blood, screaming for his mother is heartbreaking.
3) The Poltergeist ruined Clowns.
Most people say the movie It is what made them afraid of clowns. I thought It was incredibly cheesy even as a kid. I'm not afraid of clowns, I just don't find them amusing. Mostly because of that stupid clown toy in The Poltergeist.
4) Tales of the Crypt ruined my sister's apartment.
I wish I could remember the name of the episode I watched. All I remember is a guy shooting another guy from behind a pillow in an apartment complex that looked nearly identical to the one my older sister lived in at the time. Right down to the furniture. I hated visiting her after watching that. I thought some bat shit crazy psycho was going to burst through the door and kill us all.
5) Faces of Death ruined water skiing.
Thankfully I suck at water skiing, because seeing that "home video" of the dude water skiing right into some boat propellers was enough.
6)Murder-Set-Pieces ruined IMDb posting for awhile.
I used to be a massive IMDb poster for years. I think I activated my account in 2004? Anyways, I used to aimlessly browse the message boards over and over looking through random films. When this extremely low budget feature came out, someone decided he was going to spam every single IMDb board for a horror movie saying that this was the scariest most goriest movie ever and that it needed to be seen. That was annoying. I never participated in any of the arguments about them, but holy crap they were everywhere. I bet it was effective though, I wouldn't know about that film if it weren't for IMDb.
7) Rob Zombie ruined..well, Rob Zombie.
He has an eye for horror and I didn't hate his remake of the first Halloween as much as everyone else did. However, he cannot write a screenplay to save his life. I'm all for Zombie directing horror films, just not writing them. When every other word is a curse word or something sexual, it just gets redundant. I'm all for swearing and sex jokes, but space them out.
8) Salo ruined my entire day.
I never had any intention of watching this movie. My friend was trying to download a torrent of Cannibal Holocaust (not something I care to see either) and she got Salo instead.We had never heard of it. I think we made it through about 15 minutes of it before I begged her to turn it off. That was just awful, and I don't even want to know what happened next. Fuck that.
9) Martyrs ruined my French horror movie marathon.
My friend and I saw High Tension in theaters years earlier, and upon re-watch we decided we'd make a marathon out of French horror films we could find. Well, one of them was Martyrs and I seriously wish I could un-see that movie. This film's violence/is the violence really necessary ratio is seriously off. You know what I should never have to do during a scene where a woman is getting punched in the face over and over? Check my watch because it's gone on for far too many minutes.
10) Pet Sematary ruined the name "Gage."
Over the past few years, I've came across a number of people who have named their kids Gage. While I admit it sounds cool, HOW CAN YOU NOT THINK OF PET SEMATARY? Honorable Mention goes to the name Malachy from Children of the Corn.
Did any horror movies ruin anything for you at one point or another?
*credit Tumblr for that gif*
AWESOME list! Number 8 made me laugh my ass off. And Martyrs... yesh. Just too much.
ReplyDeleteThis is randomly showing in my stats section again and I can't believe I didn't reply to comments. Martyrs is WAYYYY too much.
DeleteI LOVE the inclusion of "Murder Set Pieces" on this list. That still remains one of the WORST movies I've seen possibly EVER! DO NOT watch it, you will regret it immediately!
ReplyDelete-Jason
I always think of you when I think or Murder Set Pieces only because you're the only other person that seems to be aware of its existence. lol
DeleteGood call on Candyman. I've had the same creepy parking garage feeling. I live nearby Chicago, where the movie takes place, and there are actually some nice nightspots in that area now...and I still think of that movie when parking there.
ReplyDeleteCandyman, ruining garages since 1992. lol
Deleteahahah! Tales from the Crypt ruined my bladder and It ruined clowns for me. :)
ReplyDeleteI have the sudden urge to watch a few episodes of this again. Especially since I've been seeing other blog posts around about it lately.
DeleteHaha. I haven't seen any of these films, but Psycho and Vacancy certainly didn't make motel rooms more inviting for me. ;)
ReplyDeleteThere's lots of terrible movies out there for hotels. The Shining being another.
DeleteWhat a great post! I haven't seen any of these movies, except Pet Semetary. What a God-awful movie. Which is a shame, because it was based on a pretty good novel. And yes, I'd never name my son Gage. :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for a much-needed laugh. My poor daughter was scared of hotel bathrooms for several years after seeing The Shining.
lol I love Pet Semetary. Never read the novel though.
DeleteHahhaa this is hilarious. Great post. I totally agree about the Rob Zombie one.
ReplyDeleteThank you :) and fuck Rob Zombie's writing.
Delete