Typical brothel shenanigans ensues, Gilly is getting picked on by a whore, but she's not having any of it. Then the wildlings attack. Gilly hides with little Sam, Ygritte finds her and spares her, reminding us that not all wildlings are total assholes.
Big Sam is sad over the attack on Molestown because he sent Gilly there, his friends assure him that Gilly has survived so much, that she probably got out a live. Poor Sam. Jon was all melancholy as usual. He should probably learn how to make explosives or something. They're going to need them when Mance attacks.
Ramsay and Reek once again give us a perfect demonstration of Stockholm's Syndrome as he makes Reek, well, pretend to be Theon Greyjoy. He tells the Iron Born they will be allowed to leave if they surrender. The leader does not want to, but another man kills him and says they will surrender since they get to go home. We then cut to this same man, only he's been flayed and tortured, along with the rest of the Iron Born. Ramsay says it's Bolton tradition. Reek probably sees more flayings in his future. Later, Roose, who I have an unhealthy older man crush on shows up and gives Ramsay a royal notice that makes him a true Bolton instead of a Snow. He tells Roose he will make him proud. (aww?) Then in full creeper style he tells Reek he'll be needing a bath when they arrive. The camera pans away, and they're riding towards Winterfell.
This week's obligatory nudity goes to Missandei as Grey Worm pervs from a distance. She catches him, and later after a chat with Dany about whether or not the Unsullied lost "the pilar and the stones" she says she's glad he saw her. This was sweet and all, but I'm kind of wondering what the point of it is? I did like that scene between Dany and Missandei though, with Dany doing her hair. It's nice to see that even though she's a queen, she has time for little things like that.
Then in the scene I've been dreading all season, Barriston receives a note with Jorah's royal pardon by Robert Baratheon. He tells Jorah man to man first, but denies Jorah's request to tell Dany alone. Iain Glen was great in his confession scene, Emilia Clarke was not. She played it with more anger than heartbreak, which is weird because in an interview that EW had posted, she said it was a heartbreaking decision for Dany, so where was that? That was supposed to be the hardest decision Dany has made so far, but it didn't feel like it.
The Vale story line has turned into something completely different from the book. I'm enjoying it for the most part, it's nice to not know everything. In the book, they blame Lysa's death on a singer that was also in the room. Since we didn't get that in the show, Littlefinger is being interrogated by the other lords of the Vale when they bring in Sansa (who they think is Alayne) as a witness. She says she has to tell the truth, admits she's Sansa...then tells an elaborate lie to go along with Littlefinger's suicide story he was pushing. Later she tells Littlefinger she knows what he wants, when we see her again, her hair is dyed black and she swaggers down the stairs in a bird dress. That's the best way to describe it. The hair dying thing doesn't make a lot of sense at this point, because in the book they dyed it BEFORE she got to the Vale to disguise the fact that she is Sansa. I'm assuming there will be some dialogue in the future saying that is what they're doing NOW, but still. They should've just did that in the beginning. I always thought Sansa would grow up to be very politically savvy in the books, and that seems to be the way they're going here. I'm also assuming (and dreading) the fact that she's probably going to quasi seduce Petyr to get what she wants. I'm judging this by the way she walked down the stairs.
Outside the Blood Gate, Arya and The Hound arrive to find out Lysa is dead. Arya bursts out laughing because she's 100% done with all of this shit.
Jaime and Tyrion share a sweet scene where they reminisce about a simple minded cousin who smashed beetles day and night. Dinklage and Coster-Waldau really shine in their scenes together this season. Tyrion frets briefly about Oberyn losing, and when the bell rings, Jaime tells Tyrion good luck, and looks like he's about to cry.
At the arena, Tyrion tells Oberyn he should have thicker armor, a helmet, and that he shouldn't be drinking before a fight. Oberyn delivers the line of the night and says "And you learned this from your years in the fighting pits?" Ellaria rightly freaks when she sees The Mountain enter. Pycelle starts blessing the fight before Tywin orders him to shut the fuck up. Like the book, Oberyn shouts "you raped her, you murdered her, you killed her children" at the Mountain, trying to avenge the death of his beloved sister Elia. It was just as intense as I thought it would be. Just as you think Oberyn has won, (And Cersei and Tywin begin to lose their shit) The Mountain trips him up, gives Oberyn the confession he wants, then crushes his skull. Ellaria screams, Tyrion can't even look, Jaime looks like he's going to cry, Cersei just came. We were deprived of a Varys facial expression. Tywin sentences Tyrion to death. The show ends with Tyrion looking broken.
I was watching this show with my mother who really thought Oberyn was going to win, and oh my God, her face. She was pissed. She yelled at me (again) for making her watch this show. Tyrion's her favorite and now she thinks he's going to die. It reminded me how I felt when I read it, because even though I should've known better, I honest to God did NOT see Oberyn losing. It didn't even occur to me. Next week we get the high anticipated battle of The Wall. If this doesn't go a certain way, Lady Sati is going to burn down HBO's studios so hopefully it's as good as we all hope it will be.
Best one liners from Veep
"It's so smooth..like touching a child's face." "I don't enjoy touching child's faces and neither should you."
"Milk and two heaping spoonfuls of whatever the fuck you're on."
"If there's a dirty trick I cannot stand, it's honesty."
On a side note, I think I'm starting to ship Amy and Dan.
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